My ex girlfriend got raped..?
I just found out my ex was raped a few months ago. She hasnt told anybody except me and is now very emotionally distressed. Even though we arent a couple anymore, we are still very close. It hurt hearing what happened because I always felt like it was my job to protect her from harm. Ever since the incident, she has lost trust in everyone, including me. I try getting her to open up to me so I can be there for her but she's being very distant about it. It's like shes dealing with it by just forgetting about it and acting like it never happened. She used to be this very open, loving friend, but now she has this independent heartless attitude towards me and everyone around her. What should I do? She said she trusted the guy who raped her because she said I wasnt there for her at that time, so she had to go to someone else for companionship. I will never forgive myself for not being there for her during those times that led her to being with the wrong person. Any advice is appreciated...
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
For starters, don't let her dump all the blame on you. If you two are so close, she should have talked to you about the lack of comfort between the two of you. Second, she obviously knows who did it and if she doesn't report it, he'll do it again. Get her to tell the police, or if she won't tell them, get her to tell you who did and go kick his a**. I hate guys who take advantage of girls. Rape, to a lot of guys, is "just a girl changing her mind". No, it's not. He needs to be punished for what he did. Don't beat yourself up because your relationship was apparently meant to only have you holding up your end of the bargain. In every relationship, friendship or lovers, it's two-way. If she didn't feel like you were there for her, she should have said something. Also, get her into a self defense class. Every woman needs to take one for jerks like that.
I'm sorry, this was more of a personal rant than a helpful answer. I hate rapists, and people who blame their issues on everyone but themselves.
- 1 decade ago
First of all DO NOT blame yourself. As much as it sucks we can't all save everyone from harm, only try our best. Rape going unsaid can later on in life lead to esteem and psychological issues. Opening up is the best medicine. I was raped at the age of 13, but with my mom and friends help I can talk about it openly and I still trust men and have close relationships. She will need help, even if she doesn't seek it on her own. Try to get her to tell authorities, maybe somebody else she trusts. Explain to her she did nothing wrong and that this is the best choice. Victims often feel like they are at fault, which is why most of the time they keep it in hush. I hope everything works out.
- The DoctorLv 51 decade ago
even if she seems distant it's really important for you to be there for her, if she told you what happened she still must trust you a little bit, see if you can talk her in to seeing a psychologist, that can be really helpful. however, you also have to realize that this is an extremely hard thing to go through and people will deal with it in their own way.
it's probably also hard for you to deal with too, the best way you can help her is to help yourself (aka, don't get all sad and mopey, be sympathetic but also strong)
- AnaLv 61 decade ago
Don't blame yourself because this is none of your fault. It's HER fault for trusting someone that she barely knew. All you can do now is be her friend and make her feel better and help her gain the trust that she used to have.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
im so sorry for what happen to your ex girl friend. she just need to
talk to someone about what happen to her and then she will be able
to deal with this but be there for her she will need you.but don't blame'
your self it not your fault, bad things happen but both you will get
thought this. god be with her..
- Anonymous1 decade ago
So much for friends! I doubt she will be very happy with you if you go and ******* spread it all over the web!!!
- Melody♫♪Lv 71 decade ago
You should give her time to cool off but I think she's really mad at you .
- 1 decade ago
hope this helps