I think my dads cheating what should i do?
Ok well i have reason to believe that my dad is cheating on my mum. I found a random number in my dads phone my mums number, then i found a number under my sisters name that wasn't hers, i thought hey did she change her number i called it and a random girl answered i asked for her name and shes like this is Melissa who is this. I just hung up. And on another occasion i was looking in my dads ca for his gum packet and i found condoms in his glub box thinggo, now my mum never goes in my dads car and my dad always goes away for work. Im just wondering if i should tell my mum or not when i dont have proof.My mum is one of those people who over exaggerate things. Thats why its so hard to know if i should tell her or not.
Oh and to make the situation i have 6 younger sibling and in only 14.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Two of the hardest lessons in life as a teen is to accept that our parent's relationship is THEIR relationship and we must stay completely out of it. For all you know, your mom and dad have an open marriage (unlikely but you get the point)
Second is that we reach the age to realize that our parents are seriously flawed and we have to come to terms with the fact that we expected something different and that we still love them - flaws and all.
I can't absolutely say if he is cheating - sounds like he is - or exactly why, but I will say this as a person who has done a fair bit of marriage counseling - I have never seen a completely innocent party - you Mother is involved in some way - either in failing to provide emotional or physical needs or in enabling the activity even if she is in denial that it is happening.
The plain fact is that you need to stay completely out of ot as if you never knew. The marriage and their ways of dealing with their life are not your concern unless they directly intersect with your life - which at this point they do not. You have only see evidence and indications not had your dad parading some women in front of you. You came across stuff by accident. He is being discreet to a degree.
If you want to say something the outcome is generally bad no matter how you handle it. If you must talk - tell your dad that you found more than you bargained for when you went to get gum. Don't even mention sneaking into his cell phone. just say. "It is none of my business what you and Mom do in private but I suggest you be more discreet." He will get the message and will likely be furuiious with you. If you go to your mom even if it proves true she is not likely to be thrilled with the information and oftenpeople blame the person who brings the message. Getting involved is a lose-lose situation for you.
I am sorry at your age you have to bear this burden but you need to remember that the majority - well over 50% of marriges with unfaithfulness to survive so your family is not facing certain divorce
I wish you the best..
- Anonymous4 years ago
It's convenient to say, cross inform your mum. However at you age i can be capable to thoroughly clutch the quandary. Do you've gotten a relative you'll be able to turn to? Possibly an aunt or uncle. What approximately an older sibling, or your grandparents? For individuals who fairly might now not have someone else you consider that you could speak too, and likewise you simply can't face telling your mum probably you need to preserve in brain writing it down what and presents for your mum. In an attempt to at the least holiday the ice and get it available in the market. One different choice is to system you dad and tell him you observe what he has been up to and tell him to notify your mum or you can. This is difficult for you, I realise, nonetheless a way, your mum needs to understand that your dad is devious.
- <3Lv 51 decade ago
You shouldn't tell her until you find more proof. But you should definitely try to figure out if he is or not.
- 1 decade ago
you shouldnt tell her yet, see if she catches on & if she doesnt and you cant keep it in tell her.