Why would a guy show interest in you and the just be a total now show when u show u like him back?

Why would a guy show interest in you and the just be a total now show when u show u like him back?

So I there was a guy that was showing interest in me (a quiet guy)

and by the time i showed him my interest he totally disappears!

stops calling me, stops e-mails. When my parents divorced he said he would be there for me, but was a total no show! (that was in 07!)

By chance I happened to see him online last week and wanting to just say hi im'ed him and asked how he was doing and so forth.

gave him my # so we could catch up (not trying to rekindle anyhing like that im just trying to make connections for future work) and he said he'd e-mail and catch up. but again he's a total flake!

what is up w/ guys that do that?

Update:

to add:

after my parents divorced he said he wanted to visit my family to see how we were doing and meet my mother, and rest of the family.

again he never called back to check into that!

Update 2:

to add! again!

(we were both in college at time!)

now we are in our mid 20's.

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    OK - here's my guess.

    One, he is probably very insecure. People shot their insecurity in different ways. He was attracted to you and so was friendly. Maybe, initially, he wanted to get to know you and saw the possibility of a relationship. However, his insecurities made him feel that he couldn't be what you needed. Maybe he was right - maybe he was wrong - but that was his perception. It's the same reason that a lot of guys are afraid of commitment. Possibly, in his eyes, it's better to not try at all than to try and fail - you can protect your heart if you remain an "island", Many guys get their strokes from being a sort of Don Juan but but not getting involved. If he's quiet as you say, I'd say he definitely struggling with some insecurity or confidence issues. Just remember, usually when guys give you the hot and cold treatment, it's usually an issue they need to deal with in themselves. The bottom line is - in order to be able to give to someone else you have to have something to give. A lot of guys honestly don't.

    Additionally, who knows what he's had happen in his life. Maybe in that interim time after he spoke to you and when you initiated with him, he was hurt or let down by a girl in his life. Maybe he had some personal issues arise that made him feel like that he couldn't take on a potentially serious relationship. Maybe he was involved with someone and didn't want to lead you on. Who knows. Something obviously changed.

    All said, he should have the integrity to say what he means. Either yes - I'd like to connect and do it - or no - I'm not ready for that - things have changed - whatever...Guys who do this kind of stuff are guys who want everyone to like them. They aren't honest because being honest will cause hurt feelings at times and possibly cause some people to be angry with them. They'll do anything to keep everyone happy. This is a guy who needs some confidence and I'm betting needs to get a life. But you can't fix him. He's got to do that himself. ANd if he changes his mind - and you pull back/move on - he'll find you. If he doesn't then he's not what you want. And that's the truth!

  • 1 decade ago

    im not sure what is wrong with them but for my understanding some boys just make fun of girls like that!he can see it in your eyes that you like him n he can think of a way to make you show him so he can laugh at you and sometimes boys like that they talk to their best friends about it how he made fun out of a girl ! you have to be tough when you have a relationship with a guy n dont let him know you love him or like him ! in that case it will be hard for them to get to know n understand you than they will want more from you n will want you forever!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    its the thrill of the chase wants the prey (you) is showing interest the predator (the guy) is not interested anymore... hes going to fhunt some more.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    guys like the chace, but once they got what they want, it's time to move on to the next. it's stupid i know

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  • 1 decade ago

    Guys like things they can't get.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    them answers are all right. and he is still looking for that beautiful girl that is in his mind.

  • 1 decade ago

    i dont know when girls are more harder to get its a bigger turnon for me

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