How would a chemistry student explain the existence of Hell?

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, is why we now have the pleasure

of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

7 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Well Mr George Burns,

    How's Gracie?

    That student has one hell of a mind to create such a well informed answer. It only goes to show that there is hope for the world when there are minds like that out there. It was much better to read that rather than some of the cr*p that you see on this "site", put an aitch in there and you have the right word.

  • Elinor
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I've actually heard it before! Its quite amazing! I would have given him an "A" for that too! The one I heard before had a slight variation though. It was that he never slept with Teresa and he deduced from that, that Hell is endothermic. Still this is quite clever!

  • HAHAAAAAAAA!! Wow.. that is brilliant! Beyond brilliant! Tis superb! That is a clever man..

    I wish I'd taken Chemistry just so I had a Chemistry teacher with which to share this with..

    • 11 months agoReport

      HELL IS REAL.

  • 1 decade ago

    what a real 'thought-full' answer. i love it. and he is right we do have so many religions. Since "the hell's freeze over" all of us are going to heaven!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I beg to differ!!

    Everyone knows that spotty chemistry students never get laid! Consequently, there is a hell and life is hell, especially, if you're a chemistry student, who can't get laid!?!?!

    Source(s): Not that I'm bitter or anything!
  • Laredo
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    He deserved the A+, I also think we did for reading it all! It was still funny and thanks for sharing with us.

  • 1 decade ago

    hahahah he deserved tht...he is clever...lol

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