Help, I was coerced into giving oral sex while drunk.?

This happened to me about a year ago. I don't know what to consider it. Whether it is considered sexual assault or i just made a poor decision. One night at a party, I got extremely intoxicated. There was a guy there that had also been drinking a lot, and he asked me repeatedly to give him oral sex. After being begged for what felt like over 10 minutes, I eventually gave up and said I would. I don't know what I was thinking, but we began to make out. Many times, I told him that I did not want to give him oral sex, but all he said was that it was okay and pushed my head down over his d*ck. He held it there until he was finished and then let me go. I guess what my problem is, is that I don't know what to think about the situation. I blame myself because I got so drunk, I wasn't able to protect myself. I don't like going to parties anymore because of this, and im still not fully over it. Please give me your advice!

Update:

Also, now I don't know what to think of him. He actually said thank you after. I never see him, but I don't know if he was thinking that I was just doing him a favor? or he just wanted oral sex and was going to do whatever he could to get it?

Update 2:

Just to clear things up, I did say no, many times. And I was 17 at the time, ya young, but not that young. I just made a stupid choice to drink and mix muscle relaxers so I wound up the drunkest I've ever been. (please dont tell me how that wasnt a smart idea, i think i know that now) Thank you to those who actually gave a thoughtful response.

21 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It doesn't matter if you said yes to it once, if you were saying no afterwards. He is a rapist if you were trying to get away and he held your head there. The bottom line, though... "no" MEANS "no"...FORGET about the bastard and move on. The guy is a horrible person. The best way to protect yourself is not to isolate yourself drunk with people like that, and go party with people who have your best interests in mind. Just walk away from people like that guy. Feel free to kick/hit guys in the balls who try to force you to do anything.

    The people who said that you consented are high. Just because you agreed to it, after you were telling him no, then you went to the bathroom to make out, and were telling him no... that sounds like one yes in the middle of a million nos. In sex "No" means "No", even if you're already in the act, have changed your mind, etc. I hope you men out there realize this and aren't ******* scum like many of the rest. Go masturbate to a ******* porno... women are only *** buckets when they agree to be.

    Source(s): Life experience
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  • 3 years ago

    Drunk Oral Sex

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  • 4 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    Help, I was coerced into giving oral sex while drunk.?

    This happened to me about a year ago. I don't know what to consider it. Whether it is considered sexual assault or i just made a poor decision. One night at a party, I got extremely intoxicated. There was a guy there that had also been drinking a lot, and he asked me repeatedly to give him oral...

    Source(s): coerced giving oral sex drunk: https://biturl.im/h41oK
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  • Angi
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Every wooman runs the risk of something like this happening to her if she goes to a party and gets really drunk, this is why i NEVER went to parties when i was younger (i am only 22 now and married) and even still when i drink it is at home with my husband MAYBE 2 or 3 friends in a controled environment. I cant say that i actually feel sorry for you because you actually brought it uppon yourself, when he was begging you, you could have easily walked away and just ignored him for the rest of the night and left.

    HOWEVER i wouldn't really call it rape or anything, i would more call it getting taken advantage because you were drunk. If it was a party, there were obviously other people around and if he made you uncomfortable when he asked you the first time you could have told someone and just entirely avoided the situation.

    i wouldnt think anything of him, just forget about it he is a typical man, if you cant get over it see a councelor or a therapist. dwelling on it isnt going to make it go away. you were drunk and made some bad choices and you need to stop beating yourself up about it. but if you were that upset about it, you should have just walked away from him to begin with.

    BESIDES it happend a friggin year ago!!!! if you have been THAT UPSET about it you would have done something ALONG time ago...

    Source(s): DUH
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well you learned a valuable lesson, although a rather rough way to learn it. You can't hold your alcohol. Some girls can drink and keep a clear head, you clearly cannot. it's good that you stopped going to parties and drinking like that because you could have ended up worse off. Now the guy is not 100% off the hook though, he should have respected your verbal wishes to not do it, but most men will hear a women say no to something and keep trying til she gets p*ssed and yells no and leaves or gives in and submits. You took the later path and he got what he wanted. it's not technically sexual assault because you gave in, but regardless of how wasted he was he knew you didn't want to do it and he took advantage of your situation. Welcome to men in the real world.

    EDIT: And yes your right mixing muscle relaxers and alcohol is a really bad idea, so you probably had almost zero will power at that time. Just chalk this up to lessons learned. And make sure your tested for STD's if you haven't already.

    Source(s): Health Care Professional, MLT(ASCP)
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  • 4 years ago

    Turn it around, if a guy was talked into performing sex or performing oral sex on a male or female while drunk or high, is that rape? If the guy can't give consent, I consider it rape, and so do quite a few law enforcement agencies. I don't care what the gender is of the potential rapist or potential victim, if one of you can't give consent, why on earth would you want to have sex with them? What kind of cretin wants to use another person like that, and further, what does being drunk or high have to do with "deserving" being degraded, humiliated and used like a piece of meat by another "human" being? Does bad judgment, getting drunk or high, mean you also deserve to be tortured and murdered?

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  • 1 decade ago

    GOD pays with interest to such pigs and sex abusers. you were wrong & now regret it. all i can say is that getting over such a trauma is quite difficult, so i totally understand your feelings.

    No matter how sympathetic we are all, nothing could change the bad feelings hidden inside you. it is quite a shock to both body & soul to have such an event knowing that in a normal day & time you would have never said yes.

    I give you my warm hugs which i help would help you to pass through this difficult time, and hope you will be strong enough to stand again on your own and become a strong woman again.

    the last thing i wish you would do in order to go through this hard time, is going to a therapy. it could be psychologist or other healing methods, so you could get rid of this disgusting feeling experienced from this awful event. i believe that such help could help you rise up and blossom.

    (my favorite is classical homeopathy, but psychology is good as well).

    wishing you REALLY all the best & good luck in your new way

    HOMEOSHARE

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  • Janey
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    He was a complete pig, basically. He just wanted a BJ and it sounds like he wasn't going to take no for an answer. If he knew you were that drunk, you said no and he pushed you down and held you there then that is assault. Sure, you made a few poor choices. But you are NOT to blame for his behaviour - he should have known better.

    You need to surround yourself by loving people who respect you. You don't need to go to parties, you can meet people at the gym, at organised sport, at the library, at hobby clubs, through friends. There are wonderful guys out there, forget this jerk.

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  • 1 decade ago

    it's good you did not say yes to sex and get pregnant.

    Oral sex rarely causes problems, so just forget about it.

    so get wiser in the future, don't get drunk without a friend watching over you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Kinda old and yes, you only have yourself to blame. Sure he shouldn't of made you go with it but most guys jump at the opportunity for sex, especially guys at parties so you should've been more careful.

    As long as you didn't get an STI then it's only a memory you need to discard. We make mistakes so we can learn from them. Next time don't be an idiot - don't get so drunk that you regret things like this.

    Source(s): Logic.
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