over-protectiveness problem..help me out please?
I am a teenager and have a girlfriend of the same age. We have been together for 1year 8months now. We both love each other and this has been evidently seen sometimes.
Now heres the problem, both she and I are over-protective of each other. We are not possessive because it is not just a problem with her conversing with other guys(and vice-versa) because i do take good care of her when she is sick by tucking her in and getting her food n stuff. But whenever the question pops about her doing any stuff with another guy, blank goes my mind and i enter a downward spiral. I start getting real irritated and am pretty rude also(although i never harm her). I know that trust is real important in a relationship and i try alot to build that trust up, but something or the other always gets in the way. She is no great flirt but certain characteristics of hers are rather quirky. Nowadays i don't even tell her not to talk to guys in the fear she might get hurt but i end up hurting myself alot. we both really do care n love each other(although many of you might disagree by now), and that is the reason i want this protectiveness to end. What the hell should i do? I hate myself for all that i feel about other guys being around her. But no matter how much i wanna change this, i always end up worse than before.
This week we have this debate coming up and she and i are in the opposite teams. And her team is of her n 2 other guys, and my team is that of me and 2 other guys[no gals(on my purpose)].
I don't mind keeping girls away from my life for my girlfriend because she means more to me than anyone else does..But how can i know if she feels the same way?? is there anyone else with the same problem i am in right now? plzz help me out..what should i do??
And my girlfriend is by no means a flirt. Only thing is many a times she does not get the complexity of the things she gets into(like the debate) and ends up hurting me.
- ShadowLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
yea... you're not gonna like this, but I guess your here for the truth.
what your are describing is jealousy, insecurity/immaturity and trust issues.
I don't doubt that you care for each other a great deal, and that may just help you get through this. I can assure you that there may be times when those feeling will crop up again, but they should not be as bad as they are now.
If you really love her (and she you), I would hope that you would want the very best in life for one another. (right?) Then you need to let the other one spread their wings...try new things and meet new people (yes, both male and female). Its not healthy for either of you to deny meeting other/new people just because of their gender.
If you have doubts about the other meeting new people, then your just not mature enough to be in a committed relationship. Relationships are first and foremost about TRUST, and that is what it appears you are lacking.
let me paint a scenario for you;
She meets the captain of the football team and finds out he isn't just a jock but, is into art and poetry. Additionally, his family has money and he will be going to a really good college... the last thing... he is NOT a jerk.
My guess is that you would be mortified right?
Well guess what? at the end of the day, she goes out on a date with you. Don't you think that would be a pretty great ego boost?! In short, if you think your mate is so flighty that they would dump you at eh drop of a hat...then they are the wrong person for you to begin with, no matter how long you've been going out.Source(s): The Shadow Knows...