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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Why do nice guys always finish last?

Don't deny it, for the most part most (not all) girls don't go for the nice guys first. I understand that this is usually because nice guys are not as outgoing as the guys who only want to get in your pants. My only question about this is how do you find a girl who is looking for a nice guy? I'm not this extremely sensitive shy guy (steriotypical nice guy), but I'm certainly not your steriotypical douche either.

I'm a pretty caring guy and I have a lot of passions that are a big part of my life. I'm really outdoorsy guy, like to hike and camp and go to the lake. I also play several instruments. I am a Chrisitan and that's a huge part of my life. I'm studying to be an elementary teacher. I'm active and run and work out daily I would consider myself to be a pretty well rounded person, but when it comes to girls I never seem to be able to pick out the right ones. It seems like most girls aren't looking for a guy like me.

Any opinions on what to look for in a girl before I approach them? So that I stop approaching the wrong types of girls? Thanks.

20 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    finishing last is NOT a bad thing. it's like finishing last on a test. you tripple checked your answers and really made sure that you have all the right answers on your paper. there was no doubt in your mind that you had everything you wanted and nothing you didn't. it's the same with a partner. you know you have the right person for you and there is no doubt in your mind you want to be with them for the rest of your life. the guys that marry off first and *win* are the guys who are causing this insane divorce rate. I don't have any suggestions for approaching girls because all you have to do is treat them like a person and that's all there is too it. just keep searching and you will find the lady for you! hope i could help


    Source(s): me and my life expiriance
  • Johann
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Before you approach a girl there is nothing that will tell you whether she meshes with what you are looking for. You're right, unfortunately a lot of girls seem to go for the excitement of the "bad boys". But don't throw in the towel yet. The nice decent girls are out there and eventually you will find them.

    Since you are very much into your faith I would think that church would be an ideal place to find the right girl. Try attending social activities at different churches if your church doesn't seem to be the right place for meeting girls.

  • Zusage
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    yes, vballnut... (lol) has a point. Those things are important in getting a girl and being attractive to one. Also GQ had this GREAT article for men's clothing that was featured on yahoo. PLEASE look it up all of you guys seriously. Seriously. So many men have problems dressing and it makes them look like they don't care and that they're slobby. It's not just a superficial thing, you can tell a lot about a person by their clothes (rich, poor, good taste, bad taste, political beliefs [lol, republicans usually have tiny wedgies], their lifestyle [groomed, hippy, etc.], what kind of job they have, occasionally their favorite beer and very rarely that they're a keeper lol).

    Places to not meet nice girls:

    1. bars/clubs

    2. coffee shops

    3. the bus

    places to meet nice girls:

    1. the library/bookstores

    2. church

    3. volunteer work

    Where and how you meet someone can mean a lot about your relationship with them. Just get out there and see if any girls are checking you out or if any need your help with something ;)

  • 1 decade ago

    Um, look at how she treats other people, look at who she hangs out with, hang out with her friends, does she like to party a lot? does she get drunk or do drugs?

    Really, I have been thinking about this for a bit now. I think the reason nice guys finish last is because sometimes, the nice guys really aren't as direct as the jerks with more experience. Like, you have to let her know you are into her. Openly let her know. And some nice guys are shy and therefore, almost never admit to their feelings.

    Plus, stop being into the females who are serial daters. Be friends first. Try talking to the quieter girls. Try talking to the shy girls. I mean, if you like a girl who feels like she can't survive without a boyfriend, then best look somewhere else

    Source(s): female, me
  • 1 decade ago

    Nice guys finish last . . .Bullsh*t.

    Relationships are about 2 people.

    You ever think about anyone but yourself. ????

    Or do you just go around telling everyone how nice you are every chance you get

    Your studying to be a teacher . . . . You work out every day . . .

    You self promote shamelessly.

    And your wondering why girls don't want anything to do with you.

    Knock off your whole .....I'm so nice, I'm gods gift to woman persona.

    Next time ur on a date listen to the girl.

    And get involved in something .. . . . Where your helping everyone but yourself. Turn yourself into a TRUE NICE GUY.

    Then you'll realize TRUE NICE GUYS always finish first.

    Right now your just a singular Machiene acting as a nice guy.

    Kinda like Jennifer Aniston.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Girls (especially young girls) have a thing for "bad boys", that is until a bad boy f***s up their life. Then they will figure out good boys who walk the straight and narrow aren't all that bad.

    The best thing is to be a bit of both the good guy and the badas*. My fiancee is pretty balanced. He still does stupid guy stuff, like get too drunk, but he's also the most hard working caring man ever.

  • 1 decade ago

    Look for neat, clean unassuming girls, ones that don't hang with the popular crowd. The ones that have their own thing going on and could care less about snobbery. The ones that have had a boyfriend a while back but haven't since. Maybe the guy came on to strong or wanted more than she was willing to give. Since your looking for a nice girl and not a sex object, you shouldn't have a problem with that. Now technique. First you have to be able to think on your feet, running out of things to say is a stalemate. So is rambling on about nothing, paraphrases the theory of the caucus about the quay, and that's not cool either. So stick to subjects you know about and are fluent in. If she comes up with something your not into say, I don't know much about that, tell me about it. Girls don't like know it alls either. To start all this rolling along, you have to be clever. You know a girl that fills the bill, but you haven't been her friend, or talked much to her in the past. So you go up to her and say Hi, I hope you weren't hurt in the fall? What Fall? The one you had when the angels dropped you out of heaven. I wanted to ask you out before, but I'm a little shy and had to muster up a little courage first. I noticed that you were a pretty down to earth lady, not like the other girls who pretend to be all that. If you aren't seeing anyone, would you like to go to the _______with me this week-end if you don't already have plans. Then your on your way. Go get some girlie mags. like women's world, or teen girl talk, or the like. How do you know what girls like and don't like if you don't do a little research on the subject? You can stick the mags in a brown bag or say they're for your Mom or sister if you have a sister of course. See what is new with them, what they are talking about, what they are into, places they like to go etc. I guess, leaves you with your foot in your mouth. When you go hiking or camping you take a map and a compass don't you. Well, that's what the girlie mags are when your dating. Effort it's all in the effort and the extremes you go to that creates success. Go for it!

    Source(s): my way
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    simply be sufferer. im a lady that hasnt fallen for the jerk kind and am ready round for a best man, however best men arent continuously the fine both. Just be sufferer, and the character so that you can love you for who you're will come alongside. except, if you happen to get the entire ladies now, you can also come to be a jerk. so permit lifestyles take its direction, and dont feel the stereotype that each one ladies desire a foul boy. reason its no longer real.

  • 1 decade ago

    dude, i know how u feel :(

    im super shy all the time, and every1 says im nice

    like..i always say hi to random people i see walking on the street, i always say thank you when some1 offers or gives me something.

    i try to be romantic and everything..but it doesnt really work, im 18 and never had a gf or never been kissed =/

    i dont know, to be honest, maybe some chicks just like douche bags.....

    answer mines plz? thanks :D

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Try being a douche at first then working towards the nice guy thing, I warn you girls can smell a fake douche, they know them better than us as men. Your best bet is to just become a real douche.

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