Oh yeah I have time to kill so I'm gonna answer this my way lol. Here goes!
Chuck Norris vs. Jackie Chan =winner Chuck Norris advance to round 2.
vs. Santa Clause=winner Chuck Norris again. He didn't want to have to kick Santa, but he did...advance to round 3
vs. Charlie Brown=winner Chuck Norris again. Chickshit Charlie never showed up! advance to round 4
vs. Freddy Kruegar = because Chuck never sleeps winner Chuck Norris advance to round 5
vs. Reese Witherspoon= winner Reese Witherspoon for Chuck would never hit a lady.
vs. Michael Douglass= winner Reese Witherspoon, for Michael is old and gentlemanly, he would never hit a woman
vs. Steven Segal= winner Steven Segal when there is evil a foot he will strike reguardless!
vs. Dr. Phil= winner Steven Segal, remember what I said about evil...
vs. Captain Hook= winner Steven Segal all he needs is a clock and a swift kick to the face
vs. Vin Diesel = winner Steven Segal. Really? Vin is not a threat!
vs. McGyver=winner McGyvery, he's not a great fighter but he'll fashion a bomb out of gum and duct tape and have Steven on his ***.
vs. The Incredible Hulk= winner The Incredible Hulk. Hulk SMASH!
vs. Batman= winner Batman. Use a Baterang and some Bat-gas and he's out for the count!
vs. John Cena= winner Batman, this isn't even a workout!
vs. David Bowie= winner David Bowie. It takes a while for Bruce to realize Bowie's a man, with all that makeup you can't blame him. But his playboy ways gets him too close and a head lock takes his belt.
vs. Ozzy Osborne= winner David Bowie. Ozzy may be the prince of darkness, but he's loopy.
vs. Johnny Depp= winner David Bowie
vs. The Green Giant= winner Green Giant. Spinich gives David gas...
vs. Cap'n Crunch=winner Cap'n Crunch. He's a pirate yo!
vs. Jean Claude Van Damme=winner Jean Claude Van Damme.
vs. The Kid From Home Alone=Van Damme, he kicks kid in face for being ultra annoying
vs. Ace Ventura=winner Ace Ventura. He calls on his nature friends to help out!
vs. The Fruit Guys= winner The Fruit Guys. While animals are distracted by the fruit, leave guy takes out Ace.
vs. Tinkerbell= winner Tinkerbell. Blows some fairy dust in the eyes.
vs. Mickey Mouse= winner Mickey Mouse, she will not fight 'the man'
vs. The Mac Apple=winner Mickey Mouse
vs. Walmart=winner Walmart, but it was close. Damn close.
vs. Obama= winner Walmart, Obama can't fight...come on
vs. Bush= winner Walmart, Bush too stupid to fight
vs. Ronald McDonald=winner Ronald McDonald 'cause he's got all the fry kids, Birdie and Grimice to help!
vs. 50 Cent=winner 50 Cent. He's a ganster yo!
vs. The Monopoly Guy= winner Monopoly Guy, because 50 respects his elders and he was promised a 'get out of jail free' card if he lost the fight
vs. Uncle Sam= winner Uncle Sam. Have you seen the guns on that old guy?! Really go look at one of those 50s posters!
vs. Brendan Frasier=winner Brendan Fraiser. He fought off a mummy for Heaven's sake!
vs. Jerry Seinfield= winner Brendan Fraiser his dry wit is much funnier than 'what is up with that?!'
vs. Adam Sandler=winner Brendan Fraiser, because anyone is funner than Adam...
vs. John Madden= winner Brendan Fraiser. One punch to the mouth, he doesn't want to listen to that guys yelling!
vs. Hulk Hogan= winner Hulk Hogan, he may have a crappy reality show on VH1, but he can still kick your ***!
vs. Bill Gates=winner Hulk Hogan
vs. Peter Griffin=winner Hulk Hogan
vs. Pikachu= winner Pikachu with a lightening strike to the face!
vs. Mario= winner Pikachu
vs. Luigi= winner Luigi. No one messes with his brother. No one!
vs. Robert DeNiro = winner Robert DeNiro, because he's kinda scary
vs. Charles Manson= winner Robert DeNiro. He isn't gonna let that bastard win anything!
vs. The Burger King guy= winner Burger King guy. Have you seen DeNiro...he's been munching on some woppers for sure. And Burger King guy is CREEPY!