Sunny
Lv 7
Sunny asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 1 decade ago

Calling expectant mothers "potential birthmothers" or "birthmothers"?

seems odd to me--like assuming the sale, so to speak.

What do you think most guys would think if women they were about to date, or were dating called them "potential husband" or "husband". What about if a woman wrote on her profile on a dating site, "Dear Husband, I am a nice woman looking for my forever man! I hope you'll consider me as a loving choice! I have had several failed relationships, and eager and waiting for us to be a family"

Or when couples hoping to adopt say they've sad a "failed adoption" when in reality--there was no adoption? Wouldn't that be akin to a dating relationship that ended being called a "failed marriage"?

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  • Mel
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    If someone calls you something enough, you start to make that a part of you and your identity. So when the case managers and others involved in the process start calling a woman a birthmother before she surrenders her child, they are hoping for that to happen. They figure if I believe I am a birthmother and not an expectant mother, then half the battle is won. I will already know that my role is to place my child because I have internalized that I am a birthmother.

    As for the failed adoption, well doesn't that sound so much worse (as in feel bad for them) then the mother decided to keep her baby.

  • Linda
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    When male and female reproductive cells are fused together the baby is a zygote. After the stage of being a zygote the baby becomes an embryo. The embryo becomes a fetus. I first heard the term zygote when I was in 4th or 5th grade during health class. I just remembered the term and I thought I'd share the information. I believe life begins at conception and I'm pro life.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I like the failed marriage the potential birth mothers kinda sounds like someone trying to conceive not a pregnant woman still cute though.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think calling expectant mothers "potential birthmothers" or "birthmothers" is coercive. It begins to place them in that role, and makes it increasingly difficult for them to change their minds. They are being programmed to think of themselves as someone who has already relinquished a child, when in reality nothing is determined.

    As for the "failed adoption" language... I do understand that something has failed, and it can be upsetting. But you're right, it's not an adoption unless the legalities are settled.

    Source(s): Living life as an adoptee one day at a time
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  • 1 decade ago

    When a person uses the term potential birth mother. The people are preying upon the poor young mother to be. Like a tiger ready to take down its next meal. (bring in some revenue) How can we coerce and manipulate this young lady into relinquishment? (make the next sale) We can tell her that someone else is better for her child than she is. Saying that she is unworthy of her own child. Tell her that there is no hope, cut her off from her potential resources, get her family and friends and society on our side. So she has no where to go. Take her down and leave her remains for the wolves. We will mentally abuse her to the point that she will keep quiet and never speak of what has been done. There will be no evidence or documentation of our actions. (no paper trail of wrong doings). So we have done such a wonderful thing in this world by obtaining this baby from it's potential, but now birthmother.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't like either term as an expectant mother is an expectant mother. to use potential birth mothers sounds coercive and birthmothers is plain stupid ad they haven't surrendered but I hate the term anyway but will spare everybody the rant.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Then that is saying that every pregnant woman is a potential birthmother? Ewww. Dear Husband lettter....lol aren't personal ads a bit like that? :0)

    i sometimes accidentaly say biological mother, maybe the odd time birth mom, but mostly I call her by her name or FIrst mom.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You have an interesting point but I think the analogy is a bit off. While I dated for companionship I wasn't looking for a husband. It just wound up that way. I would assume that someone trying to adopt is indeed looking for an adopted child. And when that process doesn't end with an adoption it has failed. Perhaps not apples to oranges, but definitely red delicious to granny smith.

    I've never heard anyone refer to expecting mothers as "potential birthmothers" so I have no take on that one.

  • 1 decade ago

    Lol! I love this analogy. And I am going to start referring to my past dating relationships as "failed marriages" from now on.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is a great analogy Sunny. I love it.

    Can you imagine how people would act if you said you had a failed marriage and you were only dating?

    Oh gosh. I can't stop laughing.

    Source(s): Surprisingly self actualized adult adoptee
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