Is this rape? Help me cope?

A long time ago when I was 12 years old I had snuck down to my best friends house at night and there was this guy there. Me and him talked all night and he seemed like a really nice guy. We went into another room by ourselves and me being so young was being so stupid. He started kissing me and then clothes were off and he started trying to put himself inside me but I said stop and he said its supposed to hurt give me a while but i said no and he put his hand over my mouth and kept going. I tried to scream and move around but I couldnt he was too strong for me. Now I was confussed as a child about this and didnt really realize what happened until a little bit later but I swear on everything that is what happened. And I need help with ways of coping about it. It hurts me so much I dont know what to do, this guy ruined my life and still is. I'm rarely ever around him but he still hangs with that friend I had and its a nightmare. Well if you can help then thanks.

Update:

I am now 17 so it has been years

Update 2:

My parents dont really know and if they do they are in denial

My friend knows that he did this to me

Update 3:

Ive been tested since then

Update 4:

He was 17 when I was 12

26 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    This happens to alot of girls who aren't aware of what is going on. Best way to cope is to tell yourself and let youself know, you didn't know what was happening at the time. This is something you can't change now. Please don't beat yourself up over it. This isn't your fault. It is in the past and you can't change it. Don't dwell on something that can't be fixed. I have gone through this as well, I just try not to think about it, and tell myself, it is in the past, and I can't let it ruin my life. I have nightmares and I get afraid when my husband tries to help. Cause all I see is the mans face who did that to me. My husband is a huge support to me when I have these nightmares and he even sits up with me till 4 oclock in the morning sometimes helping me cope. It's nice when you have someone to talk to, make sure you always have someone there to support you and to lean on, but really, be happy your alive still. Some women don't even survive afterwards cause they have been beaten so brutally, or they take their own lives. Stay strong, you are not alone.

    Source(s): my experience.
  • 1 decade ago

    No matter how long ago it was: TELL YOUR PARENTS.

    And then tell the cops.

    Just because it was a while ago, doesn't mean it didn't happen and doesn't mean that this guy can't get in trouble for what he did.

    You're going to have to let your parents know so they can put you in some sort of therapy. Stop hanging out with your friend that hangs out with this guy, maybe thinking about telling her so that she stops seeing him as well? You do not need to be around this asshole and more then you already went though.

    Press charges. And go to therapy, those are really the only two things that you can do, to not only validate your situation, but to start the healing process.

    Source(s): I was also a rape victim.
  • 1 decade ago

    To answer the first question if you think it's rape and you wanted it to stop than it's rape, it sounds like he forced himself on you and that isn't right.

    With the coping part I truly don't think that people here can help you if you don't want to go see a professional (which would be the best thing for you to do since this is still affecting you) you can find coping websites that are supervised and filled with people who have gone through similar situations and how they've dealt with it.

    Hope this helps

  • 1 decade ago

    I know you probably don't want to hear this. But you should report him, I know there is no proof now but if he tries to do this to another girl and she reports him it will be more likely the charges will stick. You should talk to some one you trust about this, trust me it really helps to these feelings off your chest this guy is not worth ruining your life so you need to get help, talk to your mom, older sister, older family friend, a friends mom an aunt someone anyone you trust. A counciller will help you through this you are not alone so many girls go through the same thing, I went through something similar so i know what i'm talking about. I really feel for you :( but like i said you can't let him ruin your life. I really hope you get through this. Email me if you want to talk.

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is definitely rape. This isn't anything to be ashamed about you were young and he took full advantage of you. I would find someone to talk to about this. A good friend, a family member, or a therapist. Of sort if your not ready to tell anyone you know. Therapy sounds scary and like only crazy people go. But it's not, it can be for anyone who just needs to talk and don't really have someone too talk to quite yet.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yeah its rape, I'd say.

    You were forced to have sex with him, right?

    I would tell your friend not to hang around him anymore, because if she is a girl, he could do the same to her.

    This is serious, you could have a STI (sexually transmitted infection)

    I feel really bad for you. Wow, 12..at 12 I didn't really know anything about sex..only a bit.

    Maybe you should get checked for diseases.

    If you want to tell your parents you can.

    Its been 5 years. They might get really protective and scared.

    I know it will be hard but try to forget about it or talk to someone.

    Good Luck : (

    Source(s): 14 year old girl.
  • i am 13 and i was abused 4 3 yrs from wen i was 7 to ten and that guy ruined my life. you need to tell a responsible adult, your mum, dad auntie uncle teacher. if it's too hard to speak to them about it, write it down. trust me it will make it easier.

    i am really sorry to hear what happened but don't let that guy ruin your life he's not worth it!

    when you tell someone about what happened then you can see a counciler about what happened and do it soon

    remeber he's not worth it i promise you!

    i hope i have helped good luck and i really hope tht it gets easier for you! the pain will never go away but, it will dull and you wont think about it every day. it will heal over time

    xxxxxx

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If it was a long time ago, if you tried to press charges or anything, it wouldn't work because there is no proof. It would be your word against his. The only way it could work is if other girls confessed that he did that to them too. The only thing you can do for yourself now is tell someone just to let them know and get it off your chest, stay away from him if you are that uncomfortable, and maybe talk to a counselor about it.

    Source(s): Similar situation about 11 years ago.
  • 1 decade ago

    That guy was a jerk. He was those sugar-sour things. They look sugary but then they're sour.

    Yeah. Its rape. When you say no, that means no. He raped you. I would kick his butt if I were your friend, because that was suck. I suggest you to try to forget about it. I know that sounds stupid and hard to do, but its easier to move on and forget about it and never think about it again.

    Confront him, and just (here goes the cliche) tell him what he had done to you. If he doesn't care, just move on. If he cares, maybe try to let him apologize. Do what you heart says if he cares.

    Stay away from him. Don't listen to your head, but you heart. Sounds retarted, but it actually helps. It sounds the same but its what you feel and know what to do. NOT THINK. Thats the key to the situation

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, that most definately is rape. Does your friend know about this? If they don't then I think you should tell them. I'm sure you'll feel a little better and be able to move on if you talk about it.

    I'm sorry you had to experience something so horrible. I hope things work out for you.

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