Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

should me and my girlfriend get checked for stds before we have sex?

both me and my girlfriend have had sex before with other people. one of the people she had sex with seems sketchy from what shes told me, although im pretty sure shes clean i want to no for a fact that shes clean. i was wondering if it would be appropriate for me to suggest she gets checked before we have sex. i have been checked recently and im clean but i was thinkign maybe i shouldnt tell her ive been tested and get tested again with her so she feels were doign it together.

also how would i tell her this? i dont want her to feel i dont trust her or im offending her in some way i just would just rather be safe then sorry. and once weve both goten tested and were clean (i hope) then we can have all the sex we want and not worry about stds. please help me out i appreciate all ur input.

Update:

and no stupid answers pleasee! *****

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    definately get both you and her checked. its always better to be on the safe side.

    you should tell her by, well, just straight out saying "i like to be safe and i would feel better if we both get checked before we do anything." if she refuses or gets offended, i honestly wouldnt stick with her. why? well, she needs to respect your ideas, and she should understand its best to be safe.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think there's a nicer way to ask your partner to get tested. But I can tell you to NEVER say "Have to" or "Need to" the 2 main ways to get someone's mood way down. Instead ask her for the permission if you 2 can get tested together and explain to her why.

    But regardless if you two are clean from STDs you both still need to use protection considering there's other things you can catch from unprotected sex like bacteria, viruses, HPV, etc and the possibility of unplanned pregnancies.

    Reassure her that this is not a matter of trust, it's a matter of being responsible.

    Or matter of fact, give her the suggestion of you two getting a full check up together {not just a test for STDs, just to make sure that you two are healthy. You have to do this yearly anyways since you still need to be aware of your health. And it has nothing to do with "I don't trust you"

    But also don't stray away from sex just because you think she might have an STD...use a condom if you're unsure.

    Hope I helped

  • 1 decade ago

    You are thinking correctly now act on it. Good thought too with suggesting you BOTH get checked. That way, you're taking responsibility for yourself and she is doing the same. Sometimes doing the responsible thing is not easy but, approach it that way with her. Everyone has a past, that's part of it. However, it is not very smart to assume things will be okay and you are both clean.

    With things out there like Hepatitis and HIV/AIDS you can't be too careful. Also, even if you get tested and both come back clean make sure you wrap that rascal!

  • 1 decade ago

    With an issue like this you really should just sit her down and tell her that you love her and tell her that you trust her and you know that she loves you but you would feel better if you both went together to get checked for STD's. It really isn't hard to do but if she does get mad with you just calm her down and tell her that if she loves you she will understand what you want to do.

    Just be sure to make it short and sweet , you do not want to say too much and upset her with this but you should really talk to her asap and not make any mistakes with this. And not all the times is protection 100% guarantee that you wont catch anything so that is a bad idea. Hope this helps.

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  • 1 decade ago

    YOU CAN NOT BE PRETTY SURE YOU KNOW ANYONE IS CLEAN!!!! Either he/she is or they are not and the only way you will know is if you both get tested. Also, I wouldn't even be thinking about having sex with her unprotected until you man up and learn how to be direct when it comes to the suggestion of getting tested with your girlfriend. STDs can kill! There is no easy or hard way to bring it up...it's just a necessary topic that should be discussed. PERIOD!!!! It always amazes me that in this day and age there are still people who can't discuss this topic with someone they are contemplating doing one of the most intimate things two people can do with each other.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think you should go together & not tell her you got checked. Tell her your going & you were wondering if she would like to come with you. If she asks why say you dont ever wonder if you do OR tell ask her if shes ever been tested? how long ago? has she slept with any1 after that? & if it gets to the point where shes like so what does it matter just say u dont want to go alone.

  • 1 decade ago

    i think you should say if she says something about sex or "sexy" to you you should say, "ya know i have this thing with all the girls i date a have sex with that we BOTH get checked to see if we're clean so we don't pass anything we don't want." and if she says, "im clean dont you trust me?" just say, "i do but i wanna make sure." and there you go!(: haha but you really think sex is the answer to your relationship status? i think there's other ways than sex. but good luck with whatever you choose.(:

  • 1 decade ago

    use a comdom and you should be fine but get the best brand and dont split it and if your that worryied ask her to check just in case and say its because your a worry wort :D and even made ur ex do the test 4 times lol

  • 1 decade ago

    Ask her to get checked! Reassure her that its just for peace of mind, not that you are being offensive, and if she gets angry with you for suggesting it, maybe she's not the best person to be with because it just makes sense for people to be tested!

    I asked my boyfriend to get checked when I started seeing him and he didn't mind at all

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes! Both get checked, for everything...most clinics only test for certain things, so be sure to get a thorough test on everything!

    Also, make sure she gets her test too, and review the results together. Make sure that her test is authentic and not altered. (From experience, GIRLS LIE!!!! We aware, GIRLS LIE!!!)

    GIRLS LIE AND THEY KNOW HOW TO LIE, so be careful!!!!

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