Is having bad social skills a normal part of Asperger Syndrome? like socializing and making new friends?

I'm a 21 year old guy, I have Asperger Syndrome, I don't have a lot of friends, I'm a very quiet person, I don't think it is so much just because I am shy, it's just I don't know what to say, or there is nothing for me to talk about in social settings, like in school or in the classroom, like I am always quiet in the classroom, like I don't really talk to people in class, is this a normal part of Asperger Syndrome? just not knowing what to say or running out of things to talk about?


I have a hard time starting a conversation and keeping it going, breaking the ice, is this a normal part of Asperger Syndrome? or could it be shyness, Social Anxiety? All the friends that I have made in recent years, they were the ones that took the lead, they initiated the friendship, they asked me for my phone number, and i'm talking about just friends only.

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, that is one of the main parts of Asperger's syndrome. Everybody with Asperger's is different so it manifests itself in many different ways. Some don't know what to say, don't know how to say it, or simply have nothing to say so they don't talk unless someone else directly addresses them. Some keep rambling on about something they are interested in regardless of whether or not the other people are interested.

    Also, many people with Asperger's have a lot of social anxiety due to their past social rejections or teasing when they were younger.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think it is a part of Asperger Syndrome, like being repetitive. Sometimes it is hard to read body language, or find the humor in a joke. I wonder if it would help you to write a list of jokes or things to say when the conversation stalls. I don't know if it would help you to go to polls and surveys and answer some questions there, that way you could get good at answering random questions. You could write down questions that are fun or interesting to you so when you are at school and run out of things to talk to you would have some questions to get the conversation going again. Since the questions change all the time, you have a source for more questions. Yahoo answers has a great entertainment section with categories like jokes and riddles and polls and surveys. It is always nice to have a good joke to tell, so write some down so you don't forget the punch line. Polls and surveys has a lot of fun questions, so make a list of questions that are fun and interesting to you so you have something to ask when the conversation stalls.

    Where’s the last place you would want to be seen?

    What scares you the most?

    Scariest/weirdest dream you ever had?

    If you could reverse time, what would you do differently?

    What’s going through your mind right now?

    Tell me something fun about yourself?

    What’s the best dream you ever had?

    What makes you happy?

    Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? What song?

    How has the recession affected you, your family?

    Tell me about a personal experience in your life?

    How many countries have you been to? What was your favorite one?

    What is your favorite kind of food, Italian, Chinese, French, Mexican….?

    What is your favorite movie, song, book?

    When have you felt the most lost?

    What was your favorite pet?

    What is the most expensive/strangest thing you ever bought?

    Where’s the strangest place you ever fell asleep?

    What is the longest amount of time you ever stayed awake, and for what reason?

    Have you ever done anything on a dare?

    Have you ever walked into the wrong public restroom?

    If you could teach the world to sing, what song would you choose?

    If you were born the opposite sex, what would you have been named.

    What is a gift you wish you were born with?

    What's an assumption people make about you , that couldn't be more wrong?

    If you could only hear one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?

    What did you love to do when you were a child, that you stopped doing when you grew up?

    Name something you learned not to do, only after you did it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Difficulty with social skills is one of the key traits of both Asperger's Syndrome and other disorders on the Autism Spectrum. It could be shyness and social anxiety, but typically these are part of the syndrome. Aspergers is defined by not being able to understand how you are to act in social situations. Yes, this is part of the Aspergers.

    Source(s): Parents are psychologists DSM-IV
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  • 4 years ago

    Gee, you really are confused! I am the mother of an almost 17 year old boy with Asperger Syndrome. When he was 15 he had girl friend and they used to talk for hours and hours. I don't know if they ever kissed. What caused them to break up was that I noticed on the computer that friends of hers were swearing and behaving quite skankyish on the msn messenger thing. I asked my son if he thought that was the way a nice young lady ought to act. I left it with him to ponder. They broke up not long after. Why don't think of this dry period of lack of a girlfriend as a time to learn from others mistakes. Have your own party and invite 'true' friends worthy of your friendship. Lots of so called 'normal kids' have many 'acquaintances' that they call 'friends' that can lead them astray. Sex is not love. And there are plenty of Aspies who have got married. Have you seen the movie "Mozart and the Whale" ? It is a true story of TWO Aspies who got married. And I have read many books by other people who are Aspies who have got married. Have you heard of Tony Attwood, a psychologist who works with Aspies. Check out his website.

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  • undir
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes, lack of social skills is one of the defining symptoms of Asperger's syndrome. What you described are very typical problems for people with Asperger's syndrome. I have the same difficulties with socializing.

    Source(s): I'm an adult with Asperger's syndrome.
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  • 1 decade ago

    Hi i am 14 years and people say i have Asperger actually not but people THINK I MAYBE have it -_-

    Yes its normal not to get friends either your just shy or you have asperger Or maybe hate them...

    Getting in a conversation is hard if you don't know the person or if your shy or even if you hate that person!

    And don't worry just go to a psychologist and try to talk to that person about it ect. Or your doctor

    Source(s): Lulz
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  • 1 decade ago

    The way you describe it is just like myself. I think of it now in later life (sixties) as a problem caused by my astrology at birth, when Saturn was opposite Mercury. Reading about AS, it seems like it is considered by some as just a difference, not a disability. And even researchers don't seem to know the cause.

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  • C~
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes, definitely. I have AS too and I have the same problem. Not all of us do, though - some aspies have lots to say but it's not what other people are interested in or it's not situationally appropriate.

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