Anybody got a joke they'd like to share?

I feel like laughing tell me a good joke. I don't care if it's nasty, clean, or whatever. Here is mine:

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.."

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if

they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get a hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Blues raising da roof top tonight!

    Blues---- I really like this jk it always makes me smile hope u haven't heard it

    A man walks into a bakery and asks for some bread. The baker informs him that he has had a busy day and all stocks are sold out.

    The man then asks for a white bread roll. The baker informs him again that he has no bread!

    The man asks “Can I have a brown roll then?”

    The baker starts to get annoyed and says “I will spell it out for you” and letter-by-letter he spells it out:

    I

    H

    A

    V

    E

    N

    O

    B

    R

    F

    A

    D

    !

    The man says, “There's no 'F' in Bread?”

    The baker replies, “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along!”

  • 206356
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the

    congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

    A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise.

    Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his

    scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors

    didn't know if they could help him."

    You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they

    imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

    "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every

    movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a

    very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turned

    out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum,

    and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

    Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably

    as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.

    "Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after six

    weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time,

    his scrotum should recover completely."

    All the men sighed with relief.

    The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to

    say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

    He said, "I'm Tom."

    The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that

    the word is sternum."

  • 1 decade ago

    Teacher is taking year 4 health class and they are talking about healthy bones today. So she askes if any of her students have broken bones. After some discussion about it and the pain that goes along with it, Little Johnny pipes and says "I broke a bone last year and it didn't hurt me at all." The teacher says to Little Johnny " You must have been very brave Johnny. Which bone was it?" to which he replied "My little sisters arm"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

    Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon

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  • 1 decade ago

    Oh, that made me laugh!

    Here's mine - a series of self-made, reeeeeaaaally bad yo mama jokes:

    Yo mama so hairy you could string a guitar with her nose hair.

    Yo mama so ugly she's often mistaken for yo mummy.

    Yo mama so fat because she never fed you as a child.

  • 1 decade ago

    Why was the shoe not allowed in heaven? Cause it had no sole

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