Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 1 decade ago

what would you do (long, sorry)?

Here's my situation:

I just started high school a few weeks ago. So far, I like most of it, or at least, the school part. I'm doing well in my classes, the teachers are nice, etc. But I'm having problems with making friends...

I went to a private school my entire life. This year, a lot of my friends continued on to the private high school from our "feeder" school, while others went to various different public and private schools. There are several people from my old school who are now attending the same public high school as me. It's nice to have known a few people when I started, but here's my problem...

Everyone there seems to have gone to the public middle school. This isn't really a problem, but they all have groups of friends, and although it's not really "cliquey", it seems like it's going to take a while to break into their groups and find a place. I have found a group to sit with at lunch, and I'm starting to at least make acquaintance-friends in about half of my classes, but I still feel like I have long way to go until I'll really have friends. I know, get involved, ask them if they want to hang out, etc.

I'm doing a service club (not really sure how to describe it; it's basically volunteering several times a month or so), and I wanted to do the newspaper but it's too late now. There really aren't any other clubs I'm interested in, except possibly forensics later in the year and maybe stage crew, although I think it's too late for that too. And as far as inviting people to hang out, I feel like I don't know anyone well enough yet and they would either "not be able to go" or if we did something it would be really awkward... So, just any advice?

And second problem:

So I'm only in classes with three people I know from my old school. One guy I don't really talk to (we never used to be friends and we aren't close by in class or anything) and he's kind of... a manwhore. And the other guy is nice, but kind of a loner, and I don't see him much. And then the girl... "Katie", is my close friend, but to be honest, she kind of gets on my nerves. We do a lot together and she's a great person, it's just that whenever she's around the other girl... "Anne", from our old school (I'm not in any of her classes... she's nice, but Katie's much better friends with her than me), she gets kind of fake. Or at least, I think it's fake, because it's not how she acts with me. She laughs at everything and she's always like, "Oh my gosh! Really? I know, right! Hahaha!" etc.

Then, when Anne isn't around, she complains about her. She goes on and on about how spoiled and stuck-up she is (Anne's popular and she does get a lot, but as I said, she is pretty nice), and then like I said, when Anne is around, she completely falls all over her. I know that she has self-confidence issues, and I don't think she's a bad friend, it's just that it's starting to really get annoying.

And another thing is whenever we meet someone, or when we're with new people that we're starting to be friends with, she does the same thing. When she was totally normal the minute before, she'll walk up to them and be like "Hey! What's up? Oh my God, I know!" I don't know... that doesn't sound bad, but when you hear her, you can tell it's fake and overplayed.

So, what should I do? I feel like she kind of gets in the way of me making friends, because with mutual acquaintances, she's the one who always asks them a million questions and acts like they're soo hilarious. I'm friendly too, it's just that I tend to make more conversation while she tends to be more... flighty. So I just don't know about her...

Any help here? Sorry this is so long, it's just bugging me, haha. Thanks!

Update:

is this broken up enough now?

haha, probably not...

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Still too long.

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  • 1 decade ago

    1st problem:

    Well, this is what I do. I'm your age, by the way. I just find out people's names, and whenever I see them, I greet them by name and smile. Even if you know that they don't know you, you can still stop and say, "Hey, I don't think that we've met. I'm _____, what's your name?" or just plain, "Hey!" Then, although people may not know you that well, but they at least might remember your name or face and not think that you're a total stranger. Then, if you don't have anyone to sit with, you can go up to them and ask if they mind if you sit with them. Who knows, you might strike up a conversation! If you play a sport, are in band, choir, drama, or anything like that, start greeting your fellow teammates or band members in the hallway.

    I've been doing this since school started in an effort to be more friendly, and my class voted me as the homecoming rep. for my grade. Crazy, huh?

    2nd problem:

    Your friend thinks that you actually want to hear her sob story about the other friend. If you just obviously show boredom or annyoance when the subject comes up or abruptly change the subject when she gets like that, your friend will get the memo.

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