Help! My spouse or my child?

my 16 yr got her phone taken away but b4 she did she sent text to her friends about how she wanted to fight her step dad and how she wish he had died when he got hurt. she is putting family business out in the streets and my husband is a private person. she just came to live with us after she could not get along... show more my 16 yr got her phone taken away but b4 she did she sent text to her friends about how she wanted to fight her step dad and how she wish he had died when he got hurt. she is putting family business out in the streets and my husband is a private person. she just came to live with us after she could not get along with my mom and her dad left them alone to much and they argued all the tim. we don't really argue with her except about textn 24 hours a day. And trying to tell her about boys because she started having sex when she lived with her dad. a few years ago I went to jail trying to help her because my mother was beating her and her whole attitude is doesn't care about anything. what do I do? my husband wants me to make her leave but the courts gave me custody and said this was her last stop. I don't know what to do i do not want to give up on my child any advice?
Her step dad is not hurting her and if telling hr right from wrong and taking away her phone for mouthing off or not doing her chores. Then I am guilty as well. SHe has gone from a house of being beat and yelled at to a house with no supervision and she was raising younger siblings and no food to me she has a cell phone computer, cable she goes out occasionally. Her step dad took her shopping when she moved in because her dad provided nothing for her and what she had he wouldn't let her take he taught her to play pool an d tried to give her advice about boys. so what are we doing as so wrong ?
He wants me to send her away. He won't talk to her now or even be in the same room with her. He says i was not apart of her life. I was not there everyday physically but i talked to them everyday and went to all amjor events, holidays ect. and my mother did not make any major decisions without discussing it with me first. So i did help raise her. I just don't understand him any suggestions? Please!
Update: oh and by the way I did not abandon my children or just give them away. No one knows the circumstances but to just assume I discarded them like they meant nothing is wrong for anyone who thinks that. I love my daughter. I love all 4 of my children for that matter.My spouse says I am more of a friend than a... show more oh and by the way I did not abandon my children or just give them away. No one knows the circumstances but to just assume I discarded them like they meant nothing is wrong for anyone who thinks that. I love my daughter. I love all 4 of my children for that matter.My spouse says I am more of a friend than a parent. yes I admit I am not the stearnest parent in the world and i don't beat my kids as a form of disipline. YES i yell at my younger kids and my older ones I don't but they came from a house where all they did was yell at them and beat them. They talk to me and tell me things they wouldn't tell their grandmother or their father. I know they don't tell me everything but they feel they can trust me which is a start to rebuilding our relatioship as mother and child.
Update 2: Let me clarify she has lived with my mother most of her life. She only went to live with her father last year when things got really ruff at my mothers. She has not been bounced around from house to house.
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