Can someone please rate my college essay?

I really want to send my college essay out before November 15 so I can be eligible for early action. If anyone can find something wrong with this or has an opinion on it or ANYTHING at all please speak up. I'm really freaking out right now. A Life of Music Everyone has some sort of talent or a specific... show more I really want to send my college essay out before November 15 so I can be eligible for early action. If anyone can find something wrong with this or has an opinion on it or ANYTHING at all please speak up. I'm really freaking out right now.

A Life of Music

Everyone has some sort of talent or a specific feature that defines them. The defining talent that would shape most of my life from the first grade and on would be the eighty-eight black and white keys on my trusted Baldwin piano.
Music has been one of the most influential factors in my day to day actions, words, and choices. In first grade I had professed an affinity for the piano. Much to my boundless joy my parents had joined me in my youthful enthusasim in the musical world. About a week later I came home to a brand new piano awaiting my eager young hands. From that day I dedicated myself to learning about the masters of the musical world such as Frederic Chopin and Ludwig Van Beethoven. Obviously I started out small with simple pieces such as "Dizzy Fingers" and the ever important scales that rule every musicians life. Everyday became a day to learn a new song, to unlock the mysteries hidden in the notes through the keys of my piano. I was enthralled that so many different shapes all seemingly independent could come together and produce such a beautiful sound. Whenever I started a new song I would be, and still do, filled with elation that I could take those notes and turn them into something everyone could enjoy, especially my mom and dad. As I grew older and my years of playing the piano continued my tastes in the musical world began to change little by little. While I still hold the masters of classical music within my heart, I found myself looking for more modern music to listen to and to learn. It wouldn't be until ninth grade that my ardor for the classical world would grow to encompass the timeless sounds of the oldies. With just a little push from my close friend Geoff, I found a whole new branch of music to listen to and to aspire to sound like. With that one nudge my fervent devotion to artists from Bob Crosby to Queen began. Not only had I found new music to learn how to play, I had also found music that contained the same passion for life that I did. I became just as captivated by the rocking guitar solo's of the Rolling Stones as I had been by the serene lull created by piano piece's such as Moonlight Sonata. It was only a matter of time before I became aware of the Beatles. After listening to nearly every one of the Fab Fours albums I began looking for something new to express my ever-growing appreciation of music. After being encouraged by my parents and my friends I did what most teenage kids do who want to make something of themselves in the musical world, I got a guitar. For me music isn't just something for me to do, its really a way to express myself, a way to show people who I really am and how I act, and as cheesy as it sounds, music is a way of life for that has defined my entire persona.
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