curious asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

Can we get married in a church if I'm not Catholic but my fiance is?

I went to try on wedding dresses today and the sales associate told me I had to take classes in order to have a Catholic wedding in a church. What classes are they? Is it a conversion? I'm thinking of that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte converts to Jewish for Harry.


He's baptized but not confirmed. If that matters..

12 Answers

  • petr b
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Don't do the Catholic wedding.

    Do a non-denominational wedding.

    Promise no one with what religion you will raise your children, if any.

    If this is important to the family, they are more committed to religion, or more superstitious, or smug in their superiority about their religion than you and your family are.

    It is already the big wedge problem before you are even married. Settle this with your spouse to be right away.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    You do NOT need to convert or take religious education classes. You and your intended should make an appointment with his/her parish priest to seek what is called a "dispensation" for the Catholic to marry a non-Catholic. It is not a particularly difficult process. The priest discusses with you both the obligation of the Catholic party to raise your children in the church. You, as the non-Catholic party, voice your understanding of that obligation. Congratulations and best wishes!

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, you can marry in the Catholic Church.

    No, you do NOT have to convert to marry a Catholic. However, your fiance needs to get dispensation from the bishop to marry a non-Catholic. This is not a big deal because it happens all the time.

    Yes, you need to take premarital classes, which is basically instruction about the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and other key aspects of marriage. You learn about finances, conflict resolution, parenting things, natural family planning and stuff like that.

    Your fiance needs to call the priest and get on the schedule ASAP.

  • lola
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    It will depend on the church. If your fiance is a member in good standing, and has a progressive priest at the church, most likely, it won't be a problem. You'll be required to have a few meetings with the priest, have to agree to raise your children in the Catholic faith, and promise to live your life according to the teachings of the Catholic church. (my mother was catholic, my father agnostic, and this is the route they had to take when they got married at a Catholic church) You won't have to 'convert', you'll just have to agree to do as the church instructs.

    However, it is left to the discretion of each church, so you'll have to make sure to talk it over with your priest. Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hi. Most everyone here is incorrect. There is absolutely NO need for conversion. Everyone makes a big deal out of the classes and they are nothing! All religions (not just Catholic) require some sort of pre-marriage classes and/or meetings with the pastor/priest. No big deal.

    As long as your fiance is baptized, you are allowed to be married in a Catholic Church. NOW, however, does he attend regularly? Is he a member of a certain parish? Simply being a baptized Catholic does not automatically qualify you to be married in a Catholic Church. Almost all churches (parishes) want you to be an active (attending) member of the church.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, you can! You do not have to convert. My husband is not Catholic but I am and we got married in a Catholic Church. All we had to do was go to a couple classes before the wedding called "pre-cana". However, if you fiance is not confirmed he will probably need to do that first. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Why don't you ask your fiance about this? Maybe he doesn't mind getting married in a church of your choice?

    Source(s): JMHO
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Probably yes.

    My father is not catholic but my mother is. They had to attend pre-marriage counseling and agree to raise the children catholic.

    There is no need for conversion. The classes were just a few meetings with a priest to make sure he understands catholic values.

    But my mother was a committed catholic who attended mass every Sunday and had a relationship with a priest who could vouch for her.

    Basically it's up to the parish priest. At the very least one of your families should regularly attend church. For example his parents. But if a parish is cash-strapped they may marry you just for the money. It' s all at their discretion.

  • 1 decade ago

    No the classes are not to convert you. Basically during the first or second session you will take an SAT typed test of around 100-200 questions. Basically it is a test to see how much you have discussed certain subjects such as finances, sex, & raising children. After the priest gets the results back you will go over each question you and your spouse answered differently. Just to get things out in the open. Each time you meet with the priest they will go over a different subject of questions. At the end of each session they usually discuss plans for the ceremony.

    At the end they will ask that you sign a form stating the children will be raised or at least know the catholic faith as they grow up.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well unlike 'iloveweddings' my church requires that the Catholic partner is confirmed as well as baptized before they'll allow the union. And my church has some leeway if you're not a member of their parish but they do want the Catholic partner to be a practising Catholic (i.e. going to Mass, going to confession etc). Your fiance should call the church and ask them.

    You wouldn't have to convert. No Catholic church can force someone to convert, it goes against the church's cannon. But you will be asked to attend a pre-marriage course. It's not overly religious (at least mine wasn't), they're just making sure that the couples have discussed all the important life decisions which might be deal-breakers. Things like will the kids go into daycare or will someone be a stay-at-home parent, how will your fianances be organised, how will the kids be raised etc. Some religion is mentioned when it comes to contraception methods.

    Other than that, to be married in the Catholic church you will have to promise not to prevent your fiance from practicing his faith and that you will not prevent him from raising the kids in the Catholic faith. You won't have to attend any Masses or anything, just allow them to go and allow them to receive their sacraments.

    I would have your fiance make an appointment with the priest so that you can go and ask all these questions. The appointment won't mean that you have to commit to anything, you can just ask your questions and then go away and discuss things first with your fiance.

    Good luck.

    EDIT: Just to add on what the poster below me said: if the priest insists that the non-Catholic partner convert then the couple have every right to take the issue to the bishop. Such a conversion is a co-erced one and it's not allowed by cannonical law.

    Source(s): I'm a Catholic who married a non-Catholic in a Catholic ceremony.
  • 1 decade ago

    You can't get married in a Catholic church if you have not been through all the classes. Such as Baptism, Confirmation, and catechism. So pretty much you do have to convert.

    Good Luck :]

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