My husband is so boring at sex! HELP!?

About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked... show more About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavoured body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!!
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