Niece wants $22,000 to attend college.?

I have a divorced sister in law with 2 daughters. We and my wife's other sister have over the past 10 years subsidized them by either allowing them to live in our homes or financially. They would live with us until it hit our breaking point at which we would pass them off to the other sister and vice-versa. This went on for 6 years until we forced them to support themselves into a $600 /month apt. The girls resented us for bouncing them back and forth saying we spoiled our children (5) while giving them our scraps. Now the oldest Niece aparently has been accepted to an Ivy school in England and her financing has fallen thru. For 6 months this child refused to apply to a community college and was upset we we would say they won't have the money for school.I figured she actually would need closer to $30K for school. She now says she can't change her plans its too late and wants 22K to go to school. I'm not what I consider wealthy, but they think i am from their position. I said I have 5 of my own kids and think it is unrealistic and rude to ask. I had planned originally to give a simple $200-500 as a gift. Their bad attitude and resentment for what we've done to help them in the past has really put a bad taste to helping them in the future. Do most families pull together to pay for a neices college bills or is my sister in law and neice being unrealistic?

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Smile and congratulate your niece for getting into such a prestigious school and then offer your $100.00 gift for all her hard work. As others have mentioned, even most parents don't help pay for their kids tuition once they hit college age and she should be so lucky.

    You are in no way obligated to help her pay and I wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty about turning her down flat. Why? Because she can attend many, many, many schools well under the student loan and grant amounts she can get own her own without a cosigner and without passing a credit check. (5,500 her freshman year.... more if she is low income). Don't let her fool you, you can ALWAYS change your plans. I'm sure she isn't the first one to try to attend that school who's finanicing fell through. The community college she lives closest to will have open admissions and classes start at many times of the year anymore.

    For some reason kids just seem to think money is going to start falling from the sky when they apply to these "prestigious" schools. HA! It is so much easier to spend someone else's money.

    You are doing her a favor, if she can't come up with the money this year, but somehow scrounges it out of YOU.... she will be back next year wanting even more... and then again the next year... when you can no longer afford it, she'll blame you for her having to drop out a junior with her own student loan debt because I'm sure she is still borrowing that 5,500 per year in federal loans she can get.

    This is forcing her to be a bit more Realistic and is a part of growing up and moving to adulthood. Like I said, it is so much easier to spend someone elses money.

    I'm sure she's going to major in something totally non-income earning anyway... lets see, fashon design, YUP... that's my guess. After 4 years with a degree in that, she'll be working at WalMart in the clothing department after atttending that expensive school, in debt and earning about 11 dollars an hour.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    To be honest, most parents do not pay for their own children's educations, unless they are already financially secure in their own future. Yes, your nieces are being ridiculous. I think it would be very kind of you to offer a cash gift (as you had suggested). Or, you could offer to pay for their books if you wanted to (generally $100 per class). If you do this, make them show you the receipt because they don't seem very responsible. You have your own children to worry about, your nieces are responsible for their own education.

    Source(s): single mom, full-time employee, full-time student
  • 1 decade ago

    Unrealistic for sure, and kudos to you and your family to have taken them in when you did giving them a roof over their heads, food on the table, etc. Don't you feel bad in the least bit for not handing over $22K to your niece.

  • 1 decade ago

    They are being unrealistic for sure. You didn't owe them what you have already spent on them and you sure don't owe them this!

    It's the "welfare attitude" give me, I am owed this that is showing through here.

    Let them figure out just how to handle this.

    Most likely their is no credit available for them is why the financing fell through in the first place. You did not put these people in this situation and you are not required to get them out of it.

    Time to grow up for all of them.

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