Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceHomework Help · 1 decade ago

I need help proofreading- PLEASE!!?

Okay- so my professor is very strict and I have the beginning of my paper. I had to analyze my readings for the week and this is what I have. I'm not the best writer so I'm looking for suggestions. Is my opening okay? It isn't a formal paper so I feel it doesn't need to huge introduction... but like I said, I'm not a writer and would love YOUR input.

Please tell me if I overuse commas or if my flow is off.

This paper is informal, so I am allowed to use "I".

-------------------------------------------------------------------

After comprehensively analyzing the readings from Educating the Deaf by Donald F. Moores, there were few issues that I found distressing and I would like to take the time to expand on those further.

First is the fact that there is not a general definition of the terms deaf or hard of hearing. Not having a general definition of either term can cause inconsistencies when classifying a students hearing loss. “Some states used terms such as auditorially handicapped, others hearing impaired, and yet others hearing handicapped. Some states used two categories- deaf and hearing impaired- while others used two categories- deaf and hard of hearing. For those states that distinguish the deaf from the heard of hearing, the cutoff may be as low as 65 dB (Georgia) and as high as 92 dB (Nevada)” (Moores, 2001, p. 12). After looking over this information, this data shows that a child with an 80 dB loss would be considered deaf in the state of Georgia and hard of hearing in the state of Nevada. If this same child were to move from one state to another, they may no longer be eligible for services due to states having inconsistent degree measures for educational purposes. Today, an Individualized Education Program (IEP) is written by professionals, focusing on individual children with disabilities. The IEP is a written document of a child’s present academic achievement level, as well as functional performance in a school setting. Annual goals are created, including academic and functional goals that help enable the child to make progress in the general education curriculum. The child’s IEP must be reviewed at least once a year, required by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), to see if the child has reached their annual goal. At this point, revisions can be made to help the child progress further in the classroom.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've tried to note corrections in caps in the document.

    After comprehensively analyzing [DELETE COMPREHENSIVELY ANALYZING AND INTSERT A COMPREHENSIVE ANALYSIS OF] the readings from Educating the Deaf [BOOK TITLES ARE USUALLY ITALICIZED] by Donald F. Moores, there were [INSERT A] few issues that I found distressing and I would like to take the time to expand on those further.

    First is the fact that there is not a general definition of the terms deaf or hard of hearing. Not having a general definition of either term can cause inconsistencies when classifying a students [STUDENT'S--YOU NEED AN APOSTROPHE] ]hearing loss. “Some states used terms such as auditorially handicapped, others hearing impaired, and yet others hearing handicapped. Some states used two categories- deaf and hearing impaired- while others used two categories- deaf and hard of hearing. For those states that distinguish the deaf from the heard of hearing, the cutoff may be as low as 65 dB (Georgia) and as high as 92 dB (Nevada)” (Moores, 2001, p. 12). After looking over this information, this [THESE, NOT THIS, BECAUSE DATA IS PLURAL] data show [SHOW--NEED A PLURAL VERB] that a child with an 80 dB loss would be considered deaf in the state of Georgia and hard of hearing in the state of Nevada. If this same child were to move from one state to another, [HE/SHE, NOT THEY] they may [MIGHT, NOT MAY] no longer be eligible for services due to states having inconsistent degree measures for educational purposes. Today, an Individualized Education Program (IEP) is written by professionals, focusing on individual children with disabilities. The IEP is a written document of a child’s present academic achievement level, as well as functional performance in a school setting. Annual goals are created, including academic and functional goals that help enable the child to make progress in the general education curriculum. The child’s IEP must be reviewed at least once a year, [AS] required by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), to see if the child has reached [HIS/HER, NOT THEIR] their annual goal. At this point, revisions can be made to help the child progress further in the classroom.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its perfect no mistakes

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.