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? asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

很急很急~~~英文高手~~幫忙改改文法!!!拜託!!!

有沒有人可以幫我改一下文法阿~~~文法超破的~~句型應該有很多地方都錯了 還有用法~~~奉上20點!!

p.s.其實第一段我是想寫~~~我出生在一個平凡的小家庭裡,記得小時候到外婆家玩的時候,看到外婆有一架好漂亮的黑色鋼琴,好喜歡在上面玩

可以幫我改一下嗎??

I was born in a small family in Taiwan. My grandmother’s house has a piano. That black piano always attracted my attention.

I remember when I was 3 my mom ask me to have piano lesson every week to training my temperament. It was fun at beginning but when I realized that I need to practice 1 hour every day. I was very upset, because I cannot sit in front of the piano 1 hour and keep my finger on the key.

Gradually I feel tired and tell my mom I really don’t like it, can I just stop my piano course? But my mom always say that” you need to try it again! Don’t give up!” Sometimes after school I really so tired and really don’t want to play piano, then my grandmother will call our neighborhood who is grandmother too. Let her ask to me” why don’t you play piano, today? I really enjoy to listen when you play piano.” So, I need to practice piano after that.

In my heart I don’t like piano, but my mom didn’t understand me. She thought it will be useful in my future so want me continue. The last time I told her I want to stop the piano course when I was 15 years old. (We have a lot of homework at junior high school in Taiwan, because we have College Entrance Examination.) I say” if you let me continue to practice piano, I won’t have time to do my home work.” Finally she told the teacher and stop my course.

Update:

Today, that piano still at my house but since 15 years old I never touch it again. I still don’t like piano, and I forgot the music theory lose the skill. If my mom has never force me to have piano course I think I will like piano. It’s not just waste money. It’s waste time, too.

Update 2:

When I was taken child development I realized that was wrong. We should follow child's heart. Give him what they need especially inner need and listen child's requires.

Update 3:

My mom loves me she always give me best thing but she use the wrong way. I think I just not ready to play, my feet are not long enough, my body is not mature.

Update 4:

因為有文字數量的限制~~~所以我只好用補充的方式~~~拜託阿 各位 很急的~~~有沒有人可以幫忙改一下~~~謝謝喔 感激不 各位 很急的~~~有沒有人可以幫忙改一下~~~謝謝喔 感激不盡ㄋ

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I come from an ordinary family and I always visit my grandmother’s house where there is a piano in black attract me to touch all the time. I remembered when I was 3, mom ask me to attend piano lesson every week for behaving my manners. In the beginning it was fun however, I was gradually lose my patience when 1 hour practice a day is a must.

    I made up my mind to let mom know I was sick and tire to play piano. Mom always encourages me to try and never give up. Sometimes in school I really want to absent from the piano class, grandmother even call her granny friends to persuade me to stay practicing. Therefore, I have been forced with reluctant will to accept their suggestions until my 15 of age. Now I am a junior high school student with tons of homework instead. One important high school entrance exams is waiting for me after my graduation. I am really earnest to tell my mother that I have no time to care about this musical instrument even one minute to play. Mon was disappointed but finally accepts my claim after all.

    寫文章要加重語氣,不要重覆敘述我不喜歡,還有小家庭和妳學鋼琴是兩回事,妳只要說是一般家庭小孩即可,祖母沒有跟妳同住,妳要強調妳時常去祖母家走動時,看到這架鋼琴。雖然妳年紀很小,英文表達可謂順暢,但妳先要把中文讀順了,再下筆就會不同凡響。我英文用詞儘量不重覆,而且寫文章不是英文會話,往後多注意修辭,多背單字。祝妳成功,加油加油。

    大青蛙 敬上

    Source(s): 獨門翻譯 小事一椿
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  • 1 decade ago

    我幫你改一下!!

    I was born in a small family in Taiwan.

    你應該說:I was born in a normal family.(in Taiwan可以不用說)

    My grandmother’s house has a piano. That black piano always attracted my attention.

    你不能說"grandmother's house has..."要說"there is a black piano at my grandmother's house"文法才對然後下一句變成→that piano always..."就可以了

    I remember when I was 3 my mom ask me to have piano lesson every week to training my temperament. It was fun at beginning but when I realized that I need to practice 1 hour every day. I was very upset, because I cannot sit in front of the piano 1 hour and keep my finger on the key.

    這一段很棒,不用修改

    Gradually I feel tired and tell my mom I really don’t like it, can I just stop my piano course?

    你沒有用標點符號(" ")就不能用來當作對話,你下一句有用標點符號就可以用對話,這句應該是→gradually I feel tired and tell my mom I really don't like it,and ask her can I stop my piano course?

    But my mom always say that” you need to try it again! Don’t give up!”

    這句應該改成:but my mom always says"you..."才對

    Sometimes after school I really so tired and really don’t want to play piano, then my grandmother will call our neighborhood who is grandmother too.

    你不能把really和so放在一起,因為really=so,所以要改成:I really tired...

    Let her ask to me” why don’t you play piano, today? I really enjoy to listen when you play piano.” So, I need to practice piano after that.

    In my heart I don’t like piano,

    你直接說"I hate to play the piano "就可以了

    but my mom didn’t understand me. She thought it will be useful in my future so want me continue. The last time I told her I want to stop the piano course when I was 15 years old. (We have a lot of homework at junior high school in Taiwan, because we have College Entrance Examination.) I say” if you let me continue to practice piano, I won’t have time to do my home work.” Finally she told the teacher and stop my course.

    2009-09-12 11:27:41 補充:

    你要加一個and在lose the skill 前面才是一個完整的句子

    If my mom has never force me to have piano course I think I will like piano.

    like一定要加to do...所以是"I will like to play the piano"

    It’s not just waste money. It’s waste time, too.

    要說"It waste money,and it also waste time,too."

    2009-09-12 11:29:26 補充:

    Give him what they need especially inner need and listen child's requires.

    改成:give them what they need..."你後面說they,前面也要說them

    2009-09-12 11:30:48 補充:

    剩下的都很棒,你英文程度很不錯喔!!

    希望你滿意^^

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