Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文高手,可否修改essay的文化

For the past years, the economic situation and model of the world have changed a lot while most of companies are in order to match the trend of economy, they will change their company operating model to increase the income. Therefore, some companies select outsourcing company which are able to assist the hotel to organise and change market tactic. In the housekeeping department of a hotel, choosing outsourcing company is getting common. In Australia, there are 30 % of hotels are selected to use outsourcing in housekeeping department, and interestingly, there are 95% of hotel choose outsourcing company in Europe selecting an outsourcing company is because they has the way to improve operating performance, obtain expertise, skills and technologies, improve management and control, improve risk management, acquire innovative ideas, improve credibility and image . Moveover, outsourcing in housekeeping is either partial or complete partial outsourcing. Partial outsourcing referred as selective outsourcing, means that the cleanliness, aesthetic upkeep and maintenance of few selected place or facilities to give expert agency that works in tandem with the housekeeping department and receives the directions cleaning and the standards from the housekeeper and complete outsourcing of housekeeping operations is the entire hotel housekeeping staff is outsourced with the exception supervisors and the executive housekeeper might be the only ones to be on the rolls of the hotel.Therefore, the advantages of using outsourcing is assisted hotel cost saving, focus on core business and enhance capacity for innovation but using outsourcing might affect the quality of service.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    先說聲不好意思, 萬一以下的意見您看了心裡有任何不舒服, Don't take it personal. 意思是說我純粹是針對以上essay表達我個人的想法, 是對事不是對人,

    您 essay 重點要說的是近年來飯店業 outsourcing 的趨勢並討論其原因及優點吧. 老實說, 這篇 essay 的問題無法簡單在此列幾點改一改就解決, 爲什麼呢? 除了需要修改的錯誤實在不少之外, 最主要的是這些錯誤累積在一起的結果, 讓我實在看不懂某些句子究竟要說什麼. 這種情況下即使想修改也沒有辦法, 只能大概提供以下一些建議:

    1. 善用手邊工具: 有沒有先用最簡單的 MS Word 內附的拼字和文法檢查檢查一遍? 這篇 essay 裏有許多基本的文法甚至拼/用字錯誤是用這工具就能揪出來的, 比如說一些冠詞, 第三人稱動詞, 名詞單複數, 誤用被動式, 標點使用混亂......等等. "拼字和文法檢查" 當然無法挑出所有錯誤, 但至少能防止很多基本的失誤.

    2. 以此 essay 顯示的文法程度看來, 我由衷建議不要寫長或複雜的句子. 先學著用正確文法把話說清楚比較重要.

    此 essay 中最讓人混亂的句子都是那些有很多逗點很多and或用了關係代名詞 which/that 的句子. 逗點和關係代名詞是用來說明或連接事情的, 但並不表示用的多讓句子變長就一定更好. 如果使用的不對, 不但會反效果讓事情更混亂, 還會讓人感覺這文章是東找一句西抓一句拼湊成的. 建議把關係代名詞用法重頭複習一下,

    這個 essay 的句子很多都太長. 比如這句:

    Partial outsourcing referred as selective outsourcing, means that the cleanliness, aesthetic upkeep and maintenance of few selected place or facilities to give expert agency that works in tandem with the housekeeping department and receives the directions cleaning and the standards from the housekeeper and complete outsourcing of housekeeping operations is the entire hotel housekeeping staff is outsourced with the exception supervisors and the executive housekeeper might be the only ones to be on the rolls of the hotel.

    裡面有 5 個 and , 到後來主詞究竟是什麼已經不知道, 所以句中的動詞也跟著亂, 這種句子感覺好像是把一堆剪貼黏在一起, 遺憾的是黏在一起後反而看不出來究竟是什麼了!

    Source(s): 在美國留學+工作+居住15年.
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