Lv 7
Tink asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How can I be less emotional, and less reactive?

A lot of people around me have said that I'm over emotional.

I talked to my therapist about it, and he says I probably do have a problem being overwhelmed by my emotions....

But any time I try to "stuff them down" and put time an incident and my reaction - its just like putting gasoline on fire, and I tend to react worse.

Any ideas?

Its usually because of something where I feel I am being ignored, or dismissed. I live with someone right now who is very self-absorbed (I can't afford to live elsewhere....) and his lack of consideration is a big trigger....

Thats all the relevant info I could think to give you...

let me know if you have any ideas...

Thanks all

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The best thing you can do is acknowledge your emotions. Emotions are not a bad thing. Society has taught us that being emotional is bad and weak. It's not. When you start to feel sensitive about things, stop and ask yourself what it is you are feeling and why. Label the emotion.

    "I am feeling tense."

    then ask yourself, "why?"

    "Because my roommate left the food out again after I told him not to."

    Then ask, "Why does that make me feel tense?"

    "Because it's irritating that the food is spoiled and I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat."

    Then ask, "What can I do about it?"

    "Ask my roommate to buy and replace the spoiled food."

    Here, you have acknowledged you are tense and irritated, and have accepted it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Emotions come from many sources. World pressures! Relationship pressures! Personal goals pressures! Self worth pressures! Decide where your pressures are coming from and change. Easier said than done. Find something that you like and have confidence in and concentrate on that. Build on little successes not the big ones. When you realize the importance of little things and how unimportant certain other things are not, then you will direct the emotions in the right direction and not at what you think another person should think or do. This is not unusual. Loneliness can be suicidal. Find positive thinkers and get away from negative thinkers.

  • 1 decade ago

    I gather that you would like to control your emotions more. I do not believe that a person can be "less emotional." People who "feel" things are going to feel them no matter what they do. This depends upon your sensitivity and your receptiveness to such stimulus. But an emotional person can still control his/her emotions.

    Thus, you may feel panic if you are about to speak before a group of people. That is a common emotion. But you don't necessarily have to let that emotion control you and determine how you conduct yourself.

    Similarly, you could receive some very good news and you may feel the powerful emotion of joy. You might wish to express that emotion, or, in certain circumstances, control it.

    The way to control your emotions is ironically to get better in touch with them. Try thinking about a situation in which you experienced certain emotions that you felt and expressed, but now wish that you had controlled better. Can you re-experience the feeling? If you can, that is good, as you already are in close touch with your emotions. If you can't do this, you need to practice some more and get closer connected to your emotions.

    Once you have re-experienced the feeling, relax your body and remind yourself that you are re-experiencing certain emotions. They are just "feelings: and you do not have to ruled by them. Remind yourself that you are in control. Shift away from the emotion and focus on something completely different.

    Do you get "emotional" when certain people say things that "upset" you? Are people able to "push your buttons"? If you are reacting in this way, remember that when others express such emotions of their own, the issue is really about them, not about you. Perhaps they had something bad happen to them, or they have heard some upsetting news of their own, and are taking it out on you. Never mind. Again, it is probably about them, not about you. Remind yourself that you are in control and their actions may cause some emotional stiring in you, but you simply let the feeling flow through you and pass out, like the exhale of a breath.

    Also, practice defusing situations that make strong emotions arise within you. If the person you are living with is self-absorbed, gently try to ask that person to share his/her feelings with you. Give them freedom and space to express themselves, but also encourage them to express themselves is some productive way with you. You may find that by opening lines of communication, that fewer situations will arise that could lead to negative emotions.

  • L M
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Hi. Its easy to say it, but probably not so easy to do.

    Take a few deep, calming breaths, mentally step back from the situation and most importantly:

    Don't Take Things Personally.

    Best of Luck

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