Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Should I take him back?!?

I broke up with my boyfriend of over a year because I didnt feel like I was a priority. He was always busy with basketball and going to the gym (which is totally cool since Im super independent) but he missed out on a lot because of it and made it #1 in his life. He admits now that he was soo selfish and a jerk and I am the love of his life and he will do whatever it takes to be with me and won't stop until I am married to someone else. We are heaing to college in a few weeks and apparently he is going to prove that I am #1 in his life and always will be, even if I decide to date other guys. He has done everything from begging me, calling tons, practically crying (hes a jock, so he's not emotional, lol) showing up at the barn when Im riding my horse, jumping in a pool fully clothes with shoes and everything, to show me he is serious about getting me back.

I know I deserve a guy that makes me a priority in his life, and doesnt wait a year to find out that he cant live without me. Shouldnt he have figured out he couldnt live without me a little earlier in the relationship? What should I do? Sorry this is long.

Thanks sooo much. Im so torn!

14 Answers

  • Robots
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    come on , be real, there is still going to be basket ball, he may not change totally, do you love him? if yes , can you also lower your espectation to meet somewhere in the middle?

    Both of you are heading to collage there are a lot of horny girls out there, if you really love him, I will say meet him in the middle, let him have some basket ball time and come back, and he will be all your through out collage and beyond.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think this is an answer only you can decide. Take a few days or even a few weeks (defiantly some time without him) and see how you feel. Only you know what you want and what is best for you. If you are both going to separate colleges in different cities its going to be really hard to be his #1 priorrity.

    I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and they are many up's and downs. There are defiantly times when I feel like he doesn't have time for me, but on the other hand I have to understand (which can be hard lol) that we are both full-time students in college with jobs. In between all that and homework and wanting to hang-out with each other and our other friends it is very hard (we go to the same school and only live like 15 minutes apart).

    You will have to understand (its hard I know) that he cannot be with you every minute of every day and some weeks you may only seek each other for a couple hours. If he is blowing you off for his friends or is ignoring you then he not worth it. On the other hand, if he is going to school and work and busy with homework and extra school related activities you are going to have to be patient of find someone new.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm a guy, so I'm being honest. A lot of the time, Guys CAN be dumber than women. We dont realize what we have until it's gone. That's sad, but it's true. You sound like a catch, and he didnt even know that YOU should have been a priority, until you were gone, and made your OWN priorities. That scared the **** outta him. If you let him back in, I'll be honest, he MAY hurt you again, but he PROBABLY will not, knowing that he's already messed it up once. LoL Trust me, that's like hitting a dog in the nose with a rolled up newspaper. We (guys) know not to do it again.

  • 1 decade ago

    -ok you obviously still ike the guy because you wouldn't be torn if you didn't ..... i know a year is long but i know situations where people dont realize what huge mistake the made til much later. maybe he did realize sooner but didn't have to courage to ask for you back....any way you need to have a long conversation with him to figure it out... jus follow your heart not your brain cuz your brain doesn't love, your heart does.

    on that note, welcome to dating 101:

    Rule #1:

    never ever ever ever double dip unless you feel the relationship is marriage material or atleast true love. be careful a double dip often leads to a double dose of pain if it doesn't work out.

    Rule # 2:

    Never take a guy back on the promise that he will change, he must first change then prove it to you before you allow him back into your life.

    (my opinon go for it, not like he cheated on you)

    Rule #3:

    if a second chance is given, there can only be one second chance so if he blows it you bounce.

    Rule #4:

    If you decide to take a guy back try not to hold any past mistakes on him because he should be past that foolishness by allowing him back in your life you establish that you now trust him to keep his promises and such.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No and even though you cared for him at one time and he is making you feel guilty don't give in. You've already moved on and if you are independent like you say than can you handle being with someone who is so needy? My boyfriend did this to me and I married him because he wanted to prove to me he couldn't live with out me. It was worse after that. Of course its up to you in the end but I always say if a man wants to be with you than he will and he will have no doubts.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Give him a chance.

    He sounds like a nice guy.

    And, truly, there are times in relationships (and life itself) where you will not be number one to your significant other.

    This is a fact of life - learn to live with it or accept the fact that you will live a lonely life.

    Some people might believe differently, and that is OK. However, my experience shows that not everyone can fulfill all of your needs 100 % of the time.

    That is why you need to develop ways of fulfilling yourself and being happy by yourself.

    Until you do that, you can't truly give of yourself and have a healthy relationship.


    Source(s): I am 48 and happily married to my first love (I was 14 and he was 18) after 25 years apart. We both moved on, had other relationships / marriages, and returned to find love again in each other.
  • 1 decade ago

    My advice to you is give him another chance. If he is telling you that he is dedicated to you and would do anything to be with you it obviously means he cares for you alot. Sometimes people need to have some free time and figure out who they are and what they want and by what your saying it seems to me he knows what he wants everyone is different and some people take longer to decide what they want so I say go for it and let him prove his love to you. I hope this has helped and good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    to me it sounds like the guy is a lil crazy(not in a mean way)

    um is he playing basketball in college? if not do you think that's why he wants to get back with you?

    i totally think he should have realized that he needed you in his life sooner do you think he will stop being selfish if not don't

    if you think he Truly changed his "selfish ways" then go for it

    but really just go with your gut feeling's all up to you girl!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    i would give him a chance, he seems pretty sweet. but don't fall too hard, too soon. if that makes sence. see if you really are his number one priority and in the end, if he screws you over, you wont get hurt. but if you really like him just give him a chance. goodluck. =] and stay strong.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sure, if things dont change you can always break up with him.. But if you notice any old patterns get rid of him.

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