Is my boyfriend trying to control me?

My boyfriend and I have been dating since January, and officially for about 2 months. Unfortunately, I am now out of town for three months. (about 2 months left). When we started dating, he knew that I occasionally used drugs. I've done them all, but now I just smoke a little weed now and then. His criteria to become "official" was that I was to stop using drugs. I had the understanding that he was okay with a little pot now and then. Now, I am going to Europe, including Amsterdam on my friends birthday- a time and place I want to have a little fun ;) But now he's saying, "If i have a problem not doing drugs, I have a problem being with him"

I have no problem doing drugs ever again, but I want to in amsterdam!

Is he trying to control me, or am I being unreasonable? I don't want to break over this- but I feel dumb defending my right to do drugs. I'm soooo confused. What can I do to get my way?


This trip to Europe had been planned before we ever met and he knew about it before we became official. I am going with my best friend, and promised to tear it up in Amsterdam for his 21st-since he is in Europe already, its not that exciting to be of legal drinking age, so thats what we are doing. I have no problem never smoking again. So can't we both get our way?

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's not being controlling. He's giving you an ultimatum. He's not saying you aren't allowed, he saying he won't be with someone who does.

    I guess you have to decide what means more to you. I think we all know you'll smoke dope in ND no matter what. So what are you going to tell your man.

  • 1 decade ago

    He has said that he does not want to be with you if you continue to use drugs. That seems pretty clear to me. You have a choice to make here: it's the boyfriend or it's the drugs. And there's no rule that you have to get stoned while you're in Amsterdam. Getting high isn't the only way to have fun.

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