? asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Why am I still angry about stuff that happened years ago?

Sometimes I have flashbacks of mean things people have done or said to me that happened a long time ago. If I'm watching a movie and something bad happens to someone, I'll relate it to my life and remember something similar that someone has done or said to me. I get angry and my heart starts to race, and I want revenge on that person so badly. I'll get headaches thinking about it sometimes. I just want to contact that person and let him/her know what a *&^*($ prick they are and they are dumb and ugly and they're just jealous of me cuz I'm tall and hot and smart. Ugh, I hate people sometimes. What do I do to get this anger out of me and let go? I don't do psychologists, at least for now. When I talk to people they just say who cares, let it go, but its much deeper than that. Any ideas? Thanks

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Who is being harmed by what's happening? The people you think about or you. Often people are sensitive to comments from others because they have low self esteem. it sounds like you might.

    It takes a lot of energy to do what you do and its only harming you. Try and see why you feel like you do and yes a psychologist can help you if your not getting anywhere

  • 1 decade ago

    I know what you mean. I did something stupid and embarrassing last year and I still have flashbacks every once and a while, but I don't read into them so much because I know that it's over and no one ese will remember what happened. It's only worse for you because you were the one experiencing it. I still feel like I want revenge, I felt like what happened to me was unfair and I never should have gone through what I did (long story) But it's over with and since I lost a battle I should've won, it doesn't matter because they're the ones who are going to hell, not me. And I wouldn't be caught dead talking to a shrink either, there's no way I can picture myself doing it face to face, I would probably end up lying anyway. But I solved what happend to me on my own and I guess that's how you get mentally strong. That's what you have to do but it wont be easy.

    It sounds like you have things you never really got closure on, never really finished. But if you try now it wont matter because it's past. What happened to you was traumatic at the time and it will seem like forever before you forget it. But you do eventually move on because you'll have bigger events in your life which will be stacked on top and the old memories will be deeper. I don't think when your 40 you will still remember about it...nothing lasts forever.

  • 1 decade ago

    I used to deal with some similar feelings due to some baggage that I'd had from some very bad relationships. I know this is going to sound very hard to do but you really do have to forgive the person. I know that sounds impossible, even stupid. Why should you have to forgive them? They didn't ask right?

    The truth is that you are forgiving them not for their own sake but for yours. Who is really suffering from all the mental tongue lashings and beatings you're fantasizing about? The people you are angry with probably don't even know you're upset. So while you're burning up and getting headaches, they don't even know there's a problem.

    There really is a lot of truth to the saying let go and let God. I promise, it worked for me. The people in my past no longer have the power over me they once did. The sad part is, you are giving them the power to make you miserable. You have to let time and God heal your wounds. It's the only thing that works that I've found.

    Hope I've helped.

  • 1 decade ago

    That sometimes happen to me! I feel like the movie or a song related to my life and I sometimes cry or I get so angry at this someone.. But now it barely happens to me! I will recommend you to get a psychologist because you do need help and the ppl that says who cares they don't know what you are going through! This can harm yourself more if you don't go to see a counselor or therapist or physiologist and also try to get as much help as you can. I do not do go to doctor or something because it barely happens and I know that you feel hurt, pain, anger, etc.. But like i said barely happens but for you frequently I guess.

    You should go and talk to a doctor that can really help you about this situation! Sometimes try to forget the past and live your life in piece!

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