How to make decision for a divorce?

This pig is a porn addict. I dont know if he is cheating now but for sure he did when our son was born 15 months ago. I thought he stopped watching porn but he did not. I may not be a perfect person but i deserve some love. This man just cares about watching TV all his free time. He would never give a hug or kiss me. We hardly have sex once a month but he is waiting every night for me to fall asleep and then he is watching porn and masturbating. I always thought i will have normal family and is so hard to leave my baby without father but what he will teach him? When he is back from work my baby goes to him and gaves him the remote for the TV because he know thats all his father is doing. I would like to save this marriage but i dont know how. He refused counseling so i dont know what to do.

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Do all that you can. Insist that he go to counseling with you. If there is no convincing him, then that is how you decide on divorce. Your 2nd word within the body of your typing sez you have lost all respect for him. Therein lies your decision as well. Best Wishes........♥♥

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    As hard as it may be especially since you all have a child together, you have to know when it's time to walk away. You seem to be very concerned with the well being of your child and like you already said what is he teaching your child. A whole lotta nothing. You want your son to grow up and be an upstanding man, but if all he has as a male role model is a TV watching, porn addicted, P.O.S. then you need to pack up your bags and do what's best for your child. If he has such a overwhelming porn addiction now then it's honestly only going to be a matter of time before it escalates into him cheating on you. If you've suggested counseling and he refuses then you need to tell him that either he needs to go to counseling and really take an active effort in trying to fix your marriage or he needs to get out, you'll be better off without him in the long run. I wish you the best of luck.

    Source(s): My ex husband was the same way.
  • 1 decade ago

    That is no marriage, so yes, make it an official separation. I was in something like that and it was so wrong. You will be better off without the loser in your life. No effort on his part is like cheating (and he did already cheat anyway), because his time is not quality time spent with you. You are cheating your own self if you stay with him.

    Get an attorney (free initial consult), and talk about it and take some action. You may need to save money without his knowledge, put things in your name......blah blah,...before hitting him with the separation papers or just leaving or forcing him to move out. I would talk to a trusted person and find an attorney you are comfortable with to go over options and strategies.

    Yeah ditch the loser, but do it the way to benefit you most. You deserve the best!

    Good luck :)

  • Jane
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    The problem is instead of you talking to us you need to be talking to your husband. Sit him down and tell him how you feel and how his actions make you feel like you are not worthy of his time and love. Ask him if he wants to remain married or to be free. In marriage you give up the I for us not the other way around. Tell him that you don't feel loved and ask him if he is cheating on you and to tell the truth no matter how much it hurts. Tell him if he does not want to be married to you anymore to let you know so that you can make arrangements for you and the baby because you just want him to be happy. Tell him that you have needs too and if porn is keeping him from satisfying those needs then he needs to change his ways to be a good husband and sexual partner to you. Bottom line is speak up and be firm but loving.

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  • 1 decade ago

    less complaining needs to be done and more action. show your husband that his actions are effecting your and your childs relationship with him and he needs to choose which is more important. kick him out of the house if necessary and then he will really choose if he wants porn or you. the choice should not be hard, and if it is for him, dont let him back into your life until he is fully clean. even if he does not watch it around your child it will effect him in ways you may not know of. communication is the key to any relationship and i think that that is all you need, not divorce, divorce is the easy way out of everything.....marriage was not suppose to be easy. talk to him...

  • katie
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If he's refused counselling, you can't force him. He obviously has a problem. The only way to save your marriage is to turn a blind eye to his problem. I wouldn't advise that though. See how smart little ones are? Maybe your little one will walk in on daddy when he's busy watching tv. Think about it? Do you want to expose your child to that kind of sickness?

  • 1 decade ago

    if you want to keep your marriage then you need to step up your game. hey, watch and do what they do (in the "movies" wink wink). you are dealing with an addict here and if you dont step up then just step down. he can't hear you, you need to speak his language -sex talks. i bet if you ask him to he'll buy you all the lingerie you want. use that as a bonding tool. and if you are not open enough to try it then you both will be at this level for a long time then eventually you will become miserable.... because he just can not help his addiction. hey, at least it not drugs.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow you Called him a pig in the first sentence. Things don't sound good. I think you ought to make the divorce amiable as possible.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    get out of this, it may be shameful getting a divorce but if he is refusing consuelling and refuses to recognise a problem then you shouldnt suffer, its a shame on the kid but do you want to spend the rest of your life being ignored?! i dont belive in divorce but this guy sounds so bad

  • i would say its not his falut tottaly, bcz during and after child birth a woman will be more intrested towards her kid than taking care of her husband. u need to give your time to him , having sex once in a month or so shows u too have lost lot of intrest in it. its no use finding fault with him, its ok watching porn as long as he doesnot go to other female.

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