Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

I lost my social life how?

I use to be a kid who loved to socialize with people up until I got into college. I seemed to lost the ability to able to able to communicate with people and be interested in conversations. but now I'm not anymore, and here's how it all got started.

I went to a community college for one year, and the social life there was terrible,

so I just get on the computer and work on my business and website most of my time.

When summer came around the corner, I went job hunting. But I couldn't find one, which I'm guessing that it's because of the way the economy is acting. So I did a lot of house work.

As time passes by, my confidence in myself started spiraling downward. Now I'm an awkward person who is self conscious about myself of what people think of me.

All of my old friends I've hung out with seem to be disappointed in me because of my lack of energy and excitement of talking to them. They probably think I'm a boring person to hang out with now, so they blow me off and hang out with other people instead.

I'm a wreck right now because my past self seemed better and happier than today! I want my confidence back!

I'm becoming more of a negative person.

What's wrong with me? What should I do?

Note: I'm a 20 year old male

Thanks in advance for your answers

9 Answers

  • d d
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The environment of the community college is not a strong one; I'm sure you noticed! I had similar things happen as well.

    Coming from a life of high density interactions (public school!) I would see people all the time. I would see so many people throughout the day. Then community college came around. I would drive to school, sit in class with people for an hour and drive home. I would not talk with them outside of class. My classmates and I had little in common. Different schools, different ages, different backgrounds.

    Then after I finished up at community college, I went to a university. I lived on campus with a roommate. Suddenly I was taking part in high density interaction again. I would see tons of people all the time and spend a lot of time with them. My mood got better, I became more social, and I felt better and better overall. Then after I graduated I went home and looked for work. This was a tough, tough change. Going from seeing hundreds of people a day, to seeing almost no one. I did indeed feel depressed and frustrated.

    So if you can stick it out and try to live on campus for college, it is rewarding. Just being part of a community has the power to change you on the personal level. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't experienced it myself.

  • 1 decade ago

    Force yourself to get involved. What do you enjoy doing? If it's baseball, golf, basketball, you don't have to play, watch a game, become a coach. If it's jogging, working out, clubbing, reading, find a place to go where you'll find others with the same interests. You can change, make it a priority everyday to focus on only the positive events of the day & allow the negative to fall to the way side. Stop keeping track of all the bad, instead only the positive counts. As soon as you think a negative thought let it go don't allow it to play out in your mind, yet alone form a complete sentence & pass through your lips. You can do this. You're young it's easy be as you once were, happy fun cool to be around. Focus on the real you, he's there some where deep inside you, unleash him.

    Have faith in yourself. I do~

  • 1 decade ago

    Your depressed man or might even have social anxiety. I'm kinda in the same situation as you are. I started working night shifts for 2 years but now got laid off because of how the economy is and my friends and I kinda just went our own ways and im trying to find new people.

    But yeah man, you need step outside your house and get involved more and more. Try getting yourself into something your interested in like sports and make new friends. That's what Im trying to do right now.. Best of luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    well-that's a tough one. first off let me tell you that im a 30 year old male. i have my own D.J. company. And I can relate.i used to be a empathetic fireball who would care about everyone as if they were my responsability. everyone likes me-not to sound conceeded.but i found myself doing for others so much that i lost focus on the end i'd like to think true friends will always be there. but sometimes lost contact leads to doubt...and almost a fear of not knowing what ones been up to. so i think maybe when you meet up with old friends so much has changed that it's like making new ones.

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  • 1 decade ago

    see a doctor.

    read a best selling self help book while you have the time.

    join a club, go to the gym, learn a hobby. set a weekly goal to be more social. start small like have lunch one day with someone then move up.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You're not alone! It seems all community colleges are like that, so it's definitly not you,REMEMBER THAT! so go to a party or 2 or hang out with your friends and show them you've changed. Remember, nothing will change unless YOU try to change it!

    Good luck :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Go out more invite people to go places with you. don't wait for them to call if you put your self out there people will notice and want to hang out with you. but dont go out and party every day you can go wrong with that as well. Dont worry and dont be negative no one likes someone who is always negative =]

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    mmorpg games always welcomes people who turned to comp nerds and lost there social life...

    Let me paint that picture for you dude, u found what i wrote pathetic...

    You are afraid to meet people, you are just JUST like "Emine beautifull" song right?

    You are afraid to contact face to face with others specially friends?

    You are asking yourself "omg is my hair/look/face looks so bad? omg what is he/she thinking of?? omg iam soo confused that i met someone isnt that it?

    You seem to be paralized every time u decide to meet someone/go to somewhere?

    its hard to get ur self envolved soo hard on your self..

    Source(s): If u found the answer, pm it for me.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hahaha I never had one..good for you.

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