Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicPolls & Surveys · 1 decade ago

Am I racist? My friend believes I am because I said I wouldnt marry outside my race?

Well I was having dinner with my friends(casual a group of 12 people-8 girls/4 guys) and we were discussing marriage and what not. I had innocently said that I believe that I would only marry a man inside my own Pakistani culture because for many reasons, including religion, culture, ethics, morals, and values.[They also find it odd that I never had a relationship with a man-I dont believe in it until marriage-they respect it though] What suprised me was that one of my friends implied I was racist when he heard it, he was white himself and he basically said I was racist. Then I saw him leave his seat and go to the restroom, angrily. I was not expecting him to act that way. I really dont understand. Why he would do that or imply I am racist in such a manner, I thought we were good friends. He seemed to ask me more about later on that evening, like "so your telling me if I were to ask you to marry me and you loved me-you would decline simply because of my race even if I converted to your religion" and then he said "so your telling me that you will never marry a man outside your race" and something like "its not really fair that you wouldnt give a man a chance simply because he is white or whatever race" etc etc. I mean he really let me have it for no reason. I was suprised. Perhaps I need to ask all of you?

Does it make me racist? I really dont think so.

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, I don't think you're racist. It would be differant if you'd said something like "I would never marry a white guy because white people are just so stupid." THAT is racist!

    But if you aren't allowed to marry out of your culture because of religion reasons, I think your friend should respect that! He overreacted and was acting pretty weird. Maybe he likes you and felt rejected? I dunno, but what I'm saying is that you're not racist, and I think almost everybody here agrees!

  • Tom M
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    No, I think it would be racist if you were putting down other mixed race couples. But that's not what I see here, you are free to make your own choice.

    Some can do it, and many can't does not mean they are racist.

    The mix of cultures and lives can make some different race marriages great, but there can also be big problems.

    Good luck to You !!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No, obviously people prefer there own race when it comes to forming a relationship, simply because that is what is most comfortable for us (maybe aesthetically as well as culture wise). Racism is only the feeling of disdain or even putting down another race for belief that they are inferior.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's not racist to have preferences about religion, culture, morals etc. It's not racist to say you prefer someone of your race, because they are more likely to meet with your expectations and wishes.

    However, what if you find someone who meets all those preferences and wishes, and you are attracted to him - but he's not of your race? Would you say no just because he is not your race? I would call that racist.

    It's just that little difference between saying you prefer someone of your race, and saying you will only marry someone of your race.

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  • Kuervo
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    ok, your friend just made it obvious that he likes you, he got angry because he knows now he'll never have a chance with you after what you said.

    that doesn't make you racist, I share your view, I would like to marry a girl of my own religion and ethnicity but why not give other guys a chance by dating them? you're not gonna marry them, date them. I know I would date other girls from different religions and ethnicities but I'm not planning on marrying them.

  • :)
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    not wanting to marry outside ur race doesnt make u racist. this is waht i think.

    but he was right about the "its not really fair that you wouldnt give a man a chance simply because he is white or whatever race"

  • Your not racist , i am a bengali and i understand , but some people dont like your friend, who probably i think mite hav had a thing for you

    but what your tryin to do is perfectly fine

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think it's racist. I just think it's a preference you have and that's what you're attracted to. You don't have to find anything wrong with any other race, you're just not attracted to it.

  • 1 decade ago

    no you're not racist. what you cited are reasonable. you're just finding common ground. better that than divorce later on due to disagreements.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    no, people have their own values and morals so no, i dont think so

    but i do believe everyone deserves a chance

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