Bill W
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Bill W asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

When is it proper to ask someone to say grace at a group dinner?

First, you should know that my wife and I are not religious.

We recently had our daughter's mother in law, and our daughter and her husband, at our home for dinner. The mother in law is religious, and had recently lost her husband. In that situation, I asked her to say grace before dinner, ever though it is not our custom. My wife was offended, and told me I was being hypocritical. I felt I was being considerate of our guest's feelings.

What do you think?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would have done the same thing in your position.

    Although I don't have religious leanings, I feel that it's important to respect the beliefs of other people, much like what I believe you were doing. So no, in my opinion, you were not being hypocritical.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think what you did was a great compromise, and your mother in law probably appreciated it. It shows that you've got an open mind, and that you're not threatened by her religious beliefs, and it also shows that you have respect for them, even if you don't agree with them.

    My dad likes to say grace at the dinner table all the time. I am not religious, but I sit through it patiently anyway, because it's important to him. I think you were in the right.

  • 1 decade ago

    If your wife knew she was religious and a prayer before dinner was a possibility, she should have stayed in the kitchen or somewhere until the prayer was over. Being a religious person myself I would have been insulted if no one offered to say a prayer, so I feel you did the right thing.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i would say that under those particular circumstances i might have proceded to eat and waited to see if the religious person spoke up. if they wished for grace to be said first i would THEN invite that person to lead us all.

    i would say "we dont usually observe the custom here but if you would like to take a moment to give thanks then we can all join you in that"

    its not hurting you or anyone else to wait 30 seconds to eat as a show of respect for their RIGHT to beleive. they arent forcing you to pray. they would merely be asking you to wait while they do.

    the more devout the individual the more i think you will find that they can pray perfectly silently without you. they dont need your permissin nor do they need you to pray with them or even wait.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yeah I would be offended too.

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