Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceTeaching · 1 decade ago

I'm In Love with My Teacher???Please Answer!?

I love my history teacher.He is so nice, sweet, and funny .He has a good attitude and I do have a crush on him, but I geniuenly love him as well.Every night I pray that god blesses him, and keeps him safe.Im always the first into class, which kind of makes it awkward waiting for 1 minute before anyone else comes and he is listening to music!Umm, I know i cant act on this, i know.i know its against the law, so dont give me a lecture about that.I know.But I was wondering, I know teachers cant love students like that, but do they geniuenly care about them and love them?Not that kind of love, but pure love?Like if they thought a student was depressed, would they care?At night, when theyre in their bed ready to fall asleep, do they think about something their student said or did, or care about if they are safe??Or do they go for the paycheck?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    My teacher was just 15 years older than me, but he was married with three children. Another married head of department got through three pupils during their sixth-form years; another was having an affair with one of my closest friends.

    To this day the way our self-esteem subsequently suffered as a result of these men occupies much of our conversation.

    Another female pupil was ostracised for a relationship with the same teacher with whom my friend was involved, but he managed to lie his way out of the situation by flatly denying it had happened.

    Because he was a teacher and she was a young girl, the school authorities believed him and he held on to his job. She was castigated and at the age of 16, utterly distraught, she left school.

    Mine, I know now, was a deeply unhealthy relationship with a man who had severe problems with women, but it took me many years to realise that.

    Indeed, the intensity of my feelings was such that I went to university in Cardiff, 20 miles up the road, just to be able to come home and baby-sit for him at the drop of a hat and see him for ten minutes at the end of the evening when he took me home.

    But then, seven and a half years after it had started, it was over. Then in a teaching job, I went home to baby-sit for him (from Oxfordshire, for God's sake) and he dropped me off with just a 'Night, then'.

    That was his way of telling me it was all over: I realised that I had wasted the most formative years of my life and had fallen in love with a man who had no intention of ever repaying it.

    Two months later, I had a call from my mother (who knew nothing of my relationship) to say that Jim's wife had been killed in a car crash. I was devastated to lose someone whose friendship, despite the circumstances, had become very important to me; and, of course, I felt guilty beyond belief.

    I was also terrified - because he was free. Was this what I really wanted? Was Jim the right person for me?

    He sent me a card, implying that we should get together, and I went to his house to see him.

    His wife had not yet been buried, yet he came on to me. Appalled, I was unresponsive and, as on our first encounter, his reaction was of the 'What's wrong with you?' kind.

    I also discovered that he was now seeing another pupil; I met her going to his house as I was coming away in a Lawrentian kind of moment on Coity Common. I felt sick. He is now married to her.

    I knew, and know, that the relationship would never have worked. I was ambitious; he stayed in the same job, retired from it, and still lives in the same house in the same small-minded town.

    I learned from other teachers and pupils that throughout the rest of his career the classroom innuendo never stopped; neither did the advances towards girls.

    Years later, when he was living with the pupil to whom he is now married, I had a call from another girl who was then a pupil at the same school, who had been given my name by someone locally because I'd been through the same thing.

    She was desperate for my advice because, she said, she had become involved with Jim. I was later told that she had a breakdown as a result of his treatment of her.

    I know that relationships between teachers and pupils can work; some teachers drawn to pupils are not married, and many do not begin sexual relationships until after the pupil has left school.

    But there are many married teachers out there whose predatory nature sets them upon pupils who are easy targets, and this makes young, vulnerable girls attractive prey.

    Do I regret the years with Jim? Yes and no. He got me through a difficult time of my life, and parts of it were fun. But the legacy was low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and an inability to change my life, in particular with regard to men.

    And now? I am not married and have never lived with anyone; I have no children. But I love my life. Don't make the mistake i did

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    I know just how you feel, I'm going through the same things except these feelings are uncontrollably strong, when ever I see him or go near him I almost fall to the ground because these feelings are so intense. He's married, has children and I know we can't ever be together, I just think of him as my first love and as the one that got away but the one I could never be with to. I know how you feel and I know it's hard to hide these feelings. I've come so close to telling him a few times, I might do one day when it's the last day of school? Beacuse some day I'l have to get this of my chest :/

    I do think teachers care about their students but for many, it's nothing more than that. many don't 'love' their students, it's part of their job to care.

    But I can honestly say I am deeply in love with my history teacher, even though I'm 14 and he's 40+, married and has a family. I'd never try anything! I'd never want to ruin his life not harm him in anyway! I care for him way to much to do something like that.

    My hearts saying yes, but my minds saying no.

    Feel free to talk to me, I could do with some advice as it is :). I know this is really, really late but I hope it all went well for you! :)

    • 5 years agoReport

      What grade did he teach and what subject?

  • 1 decade ago

    well I think some teachers do care but probably not to the extreme that you're thinking of. They wouldn't be thinking about if they're safe unless they have the knowledge that something bad has or will happen. It's like you'd never think about whether you put enough cash in your pocket unless you knew you had a need for cash in the near present or future.

    Also, many teachers teach tons of kids each year, so they may not notice you're depressed unless they talk to you (and not the lecture kind of talk either, person to person kind) and know you a bit more personally. (you're more than a name attached to a face).

    But most do care about your education, some whose intention are more pure. Like they genuinely want you to understand the material. Then, you also have those teachers who just say...are you stupid or what? how can you not understand this...

  • 4 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    I'm In Love with My Teacher???Please Answer!?

    I love my history teacher.He is so nice, sweet, and funny .He has a good attitude and I do have a crush on him, but I geniuenly love him as well.Every night I pray that god blesses him, and keeps him safe.Im always the first into class, which kind of makes it awkward waiting for 1 minute before...

    Source(s): 39 love teacher answer: https://biturl.im/a5yzC
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  • 4 years ago

    I can only imagine how you feel I'm in love with my math teacher. He is always asking if I'm ok and if I need to talk to him and every time I see him my heart skips a beat and I can't breath. Each night I cry myself to sleep and pray that he is going to do something so sweet to me the next day that makes me want to cry. I just wish I could tell him how I felt

  • 5 years ago

    My answer will not be as brilliant or maybe not even as helpful but i will tell you what i know and what I think. I am also in love with my history teacher but that int what you are asking so I am not going to tell you about my TC. I will tell you that honestly, I do not know if teachers late at night, think of their students in some way. I know teachers, it least at my school care. They care about students, but it depends on the individual and what their own thoughts are. I know this was like 5 years ago that you asked this, and i hope you moved on from him. But basically I dont know how you move on, and I don't know if teachers ever think about thir students in that way. I really am screwing it up

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I go because I love (philia, i.e. friendship love) my students and care for them, worry for them when they're having problems, etc. . . I'm also there for a paycheck, so I guess it's both. After all, I can't feed my family without the paycheck. . . but, if I didn't genuinely care for my students, as a college grad, I could make a lot more in another profession. So, it's not about money.

    It's important not to mix up different kinds of love. The best words to use to describe love are still the ones the ancient Greeks used. Eros and Philia. Eros is the love you'll have for the person you'll eventually marry. (i.e. Romantic love) Philia is the love you have for your friends, colleagues, family members, mentors, students, etc. . . (and Arete is "love for God" if I remember my Humanities 101 class correctly) In English we just have one word "Love," to describe all of these different kinds of Love. It sounds like you're a smart kid, (young adult) have a good school year.

    Source(s): en
  • 5 years ago

    Iv got the same problem im in love with my teacher but I can never tell him, I just treasure the time I have with him. I wish I could tell him but even if he felt the same way I could never do anything with him like kiss because his job would be on the line and I couldn't do that. Yes it hurts but I get on with my day and hope for the best x

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Some teachers don't really care. But the teacher that you explained seems like he cares about his students. He does probably think about something you did in class or maybe something that you gave him, etc.

    Source(s): Myself
  • That s the same with me! I love my history teacher, he is not married and no children. He s mature unlike the other boys and I ve fallen for him. Although he likes on of the other teachers and I d get jelouse, he s so mature, and has an angels voice. If any of you ve every heard of Markiplier? well he looks like him but with Cinnimon Toast Ken s beard. :3

    All I can do is watch him from the distance and fantisize

    • Shouta4 years agoReport

      Looks like mark but with kens beard? what a combo XD

  • 5 years ago

    Oh my God!! Yes, I understand how you feel...I'm in love too with my literature teacher, and I don't know what to do...Everytime I see him, I just wanna run and hug him so tight...and I wish I could stay there forrever...

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