8 months pregnant and alone?
I'm 21 yrs old and 8 months pregnant. My live-in boyfriend took off on me 3 months ago and I am having a hard time getting by.
Up until I got pregnant he and I were together every day. I'll admit we argued a lot, but at the end of the day the two of us knew that no matter what, we loved each other and would be there for one another. At least that is what I thought...
When we found out about the pregnancy he just kind of shut down. He starting changing; acting totally out of character. He started coming home later and later, sometimes not until 3-4 AM without even calling to let me know where he was. He started drinking a lot and smoking weed. Eventually he moved out and started living with his father. He got laid off from his job and started selling drugs.He started yelling at me all the time and was constantly being nasty. I'd go days without hearing from him. And that turned into weeks without seeing him. When I did talk to him or see him he was cold and distant and I'd end up feeling more alone. But then every once in a while he'd call or text saying "sorry. I miss and love you so much. I just want to be a family"
I have such mixed emotions. I feel hurt and betrayed. For the first month and a half I could barely get out of bed to make it to work. As much as I tried to keep my head up and stay strong for my baby, the tears just wouldn't stop. I couldn't get past the fact that someone I lloved so much could just turn his back on me when I need him the most.
On the other hand, I couldn't be happier about having the baby. I can't wait to hold her and hug her and love her. I smile everytime I feel her lil kicks=] She truly is the light admist a dark situation.
It has been three months. I don't cry as much anymore (just here and there). It feels like the sun is finally being to come out again. I'll go a couple weeks without hearing from him and be just fine, but the second we talk I break down all over again. I hate that he has this power over me. I try ignoring him, but it is a lot easier said than done. I don't think I can ever take him back, but a part of me is still so attached.
Anyways I could really use some advice..
He says he wants to be involved in his daughter's life, but at the same time, if he was so quick to abandon me, I fear he will do the same to her. Also, he wants to be there when the baby is born. Should I let him? And he wants his name on the birth certificate. However, every time we argue he says " you should just had an abortion" or "I'm just going to sign her over to u and move on with my life". I feel like he is too unstable to be a good influence for my lil one and even though I would love her to a have a father who is involved, I don't want her mind being skrewed up with his childish games? Anyone out there have a take on the situation? I know this is really long, but I could use some advice=/