Am i not meant to live the happy life i want ? Serious answers only please?
It took me alot of guts to post this question so please don't be harsh. I had a perfect life. A good job. amazing family, great friends.. but suddently everything is falling apart. My sister ran away, and got married to a man my parents despise. and they are always fighting with her. my other sister moved away and i hardly ever see her, i lost my job, im broke, and i went out and got drunk and ended up kissing my best friend's boyfriend. she got upset with me and I do not blame her, even tho i apologised and she accepted, she changed towards me, and she turned my other friend against me :/ and then I liked this guy Ed, and he was amazing, he really liked me for who I was, but there's another guy, Jake and I liked him for such a long time, he never knew i existed, untill that week when I was getting close to Ed.. and Ed warned me that jake's a real shallow pig. But i ddint belive him, because in my mind jake was perfect. he was all i ever wanted, and i started to dislike Ed, when he talked bad about him.. time passed and Ed went on holiday, and while he was away, Jake asked me to go over to his place, and we ended up having sex, i knew it was a mistake but i tought that maybe by doing that he would like me more.. its stupid i know. and then, Ed came back and he found out about what i did. he said he'll give me one more shot. and On our date, I dnno what happened i had too much to drink and i ended up making out with a tourist and welll, that goes without saying. I was dumped. He hates me, and after he left i realised how much I loved him.. Now about Jake he doesnt call me or ANYTHING. except sometimes at midnight he just calls me and tells me to go oer to his place (which i say no of course) then this is when the mess happened. 4 days ago he calls me, and i refuse to meet him.. and he calls my friend, selena, and tells her to meet him INSTEAD. and she goes and he buys her wine.. and when he leans over to kiss her she pushes him away and tells him to ask me out.. and he says im "cool" and he wants me to be his gf but he cannot ask me because im moving away.. (which is true but i told selena im NOT and she didnt correct him) anyway and she disprooved half of the things i told him, which made me look like im a liar even though i told him the truth.. anyway whenever jake sees me he comes to hug me and ask me if im ok.. and his best friend said that he must like me because usually he just *bangs* people and leaves themm.. anyway last night she calls me and tells me she spoke to him and he said he doesnt want a girlfriend.. :S now this is seriously ******* me up. i mean i LOST Ed for him, and Ed isnt gonna forgive me for sure. I lost everything, plus now i have no job, my friends abandoned me, and my family is torn up.. I have no one to turn to. i feel isolated, please help me what can i do? Should i keep trying with him, or he's not worth it? and im starting to consider moving away, and forgetting this painful chapter ever happened.. but that would be like im quitting? and i love where i live.. but i cant keep living this torture anymore.. is this my fault? is this happening to me because im a bad person? or im just not meant to have a happy life?
thanks in advance.