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本人是一名自修生 , 想報最後一年HKCEE , 請大家幫我

本人是一名自修生 , 想報最後一年HKCEE , 請大家幫我批改我這文章....看有什麼地方是錯的 ...Thank you

Recently , a lot of china scandel are dicovered by media .Today such incident have revealed again .Medical authorities in central China have dedicate more then 1300 cases of suspected poisoning in chidren .State media said , some citizens suspect the smelting plant to contaminate the enviromatal .In fact , some critizens complained the smlter last years . However , Wunan province do not accept their suggestion . Although wunan province eventually succumbed to public pressure to shut down the smlter . I believe that the grovernment should make some new rules to moniter these industry for preventing these incident again .

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    1 decade ago
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    china scandel ?你是不是想講Chinese scandal呀?

    Recently , a lot of china scandel are dicovered by media .

    media,如果作大眾傳媒解, 應該加上 the.

    第一句應該是這樣:

    Recently, a lot of Chinese scandals are dicovered by the media.

    Today, such incident have revealed again----incident 是countable noun,要有article在前面,

    建議你改成這樣:

    Today, such kind of incidents has revealed again.

    Medical authorities in central China have dedicate more then 1300 cases of suspected poisoning in children: dedicate應該是past participle.than 和children 都串錯了.

    句中應是這樣: Medical authorities in central China have dedicatedmore than 1300 suspected poisoning cases among children.

    State media said , some citizens suspect the smelting plant to contaminate the enviromatal------suspected應該配of. enviromatal 串錯了.

    句中應是這樣: The state media has said that some citizens suspected the smelting plant of contaminating the environment.

    In fact , some critizens complained the smelter last year.

    last year不應該有s. smelter=冶煉廠

    However一句,應該這樣: However , Wunan province did not accept their complaint.因為是過去了,所以要用過去式.

    Although Wunan province eventually succumbed to public pressure to shut down the smlter.在句中although不應該這樣用,應該和上句一齊用,變成這樣:

    Although Wunan province did not want to accept their complaint, it eventually succumbed to public pressure and shut the smelter down.

    I believe that the grovernment should make some new rules to moniter these industry for preventing these incident again .-----

    I believe that the government should carry out some new rules for the sake of preventing these incident to happen again.

    2009-08-28 16:42:47 補充:

    整段:

    Recently, a lot of Chinese scandals are dicovered by the media. Today, such kind of incidents has revealed again.

    Medical authorities in central China have dedicated more than 1300 suspected poisoning cases among children.

    2009-08-28 16:42:57 補充:

    The state media has said that some citizens suspected the smelting plant of contaminating the environment. Although Wunan province did not want to accept their complaint, it eventually succumbed to public pressure and shut the smelter down.

    2009-08-28 16:43:02 補充:

    I believe that the government should carry out some new rules for the sake of preventing this kind incidents to happen again.

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