Could someone please help me with this letter for a friend of mine?

A very good friend of mine recently got fired and wanted me to help him with a letter to the leader of the hr department because he doesn't think he was let go fairly. I'm not sure if it is racial discrimination or not but he has a great work record and if it's not racial, it may be some other type of discrimination. I put x's or changed the specifics of people's names/locations in this letter for privacy...do I need to change any of it? How do you think it sounds? He's very bright but since English is not his first language, he needs a little help in communication when it comes to writing a document for it to sound precisely right. Also, is there anything else he can do or any other way I could help him??? Who all can he write to and what should he write? Thanks so much! Here's what I wrote based on the info he gave me:

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To Whom It May Concern,

I feel there was discrimination regarding my termination which took place on August 21st, 2009 at the xx bank by the Vice President of the xx branch, Mr. John Doe.

I have worked at this branch for three years and have always given my utmost attention to being an efficient and loyal employee. I have an excellent work record that displays my strong work ethic. My performance reviews have always been excellent at not only the the xx bank but at all of the other financial institutions I have worked for since June of 2003.

I would like to elaborate on my excellent performance by including one of the many examples of how my performance exceeded the norm.

Approximately one month ago, I helped to catch someone involved in check fraud by reporting what seemed to me to be very suspicious records pertaining to a particular individual's checking account. I reported my suspicions to Tom Smith, the head of Corporate Investigations. I was proved to be correct about my suspicions and shortly after, that account was closed by the bank authorities.

I have not only worked with Mr. Doe at xx, but at xxxx Bank

(someplace, someplace) and at Citigroup (another city, state). Although Mr. Doe has formerly been a friend of mine, I must say that I know personally that his performance reviews were way below even the minimum expectations at Citigroup. When research was done at Citigroup by a close examination of the folders of the accounts he was responsible for, what was found was disastrous.

To make matters worse, while working at the xx bank under Mr. Doe, I was told several times to "make up" social security numbers for potential clients who did not have the required documentation with them. I felt very uncomfortable doing this so when I told him I would not do that because it was against procedure he took over the entering and creating of those accounts. Later when I asked him what he did about the missing documentation he said that he made up the social security numbers. With the fear of not being sure as to whether or not the authority he had above me gave him the right to override this procedure, I never reported it.

In addition, although I have demonstrated friendliness to all those that I worked with, I have reason to believe that Mrs. Jane Smith, the Regional Operations Officer of xx bank (and the other person responsible for my termination), has had something against me personally since my earliest days of employment there.

Although I have recently struggled with moderate to severe health problems, I have maintained more than sufficient service at the xx bank.

Now, I am fearful for the future. I have no health insurance, will most likely be denied unemployment, and unless justice is given back to me will have bad references from this company despite having high marks on all performance reviews.

In conclusion, my termination was not fair and I will fight until justice is given.

Thank you for your time,

Sincerely,

xxxx xxxxxx

(Former Senior Customer Service Representative/Certified Consumer Lender)

Perhaps you will find these references helpful:

Tom Smith (Corporate Investigations Head) xxx-xxx-xxxx

Miriam with Citigroup xxx-xxx-xxxx

xxxxx Bank xxx-xxx-xxxx

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
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    It was fine except for this one paragraph

    I have not only worked with Mr. Doe at xx, but at xxxx Bank

    (someplace, someplace) and at Citigroup (another city, state). Although Mr. Doe has formerly been a friend of mine, I must say that I know personally that his performance reviews were way below even the minimum expectations at Citigroup. When research was done at Citigroup by a close examination of the folders of the accounts he was responsible for, what was found was disastrous.

    There are a couple of things that are not appropriate with this.

    1) Do not mention about a friendship between the employee and employer.

    2) Do not mention that you researched about what the employer did wrong.

    Even when you were making the point about the social security numbers made up, this sounds a bit accusing too.

    A better way to write that paragraph is:

    There are several of procedures that I have been uncomfortable with, within this particular bank, one example is the creation of fake security numbers.

    Do NOT lay the blame on your supervisor. If you're wanting to get reinstated, laying blame on your supervisor is NOT the way to go.

    If you must mention something, keep it really positive, and try to keep the negative out of it!!

    Good luck:)

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  • 3 years ago

    "finding" something like it extremely is frightening. yet it extremely is the fee you will pay for snooping. (i'm advantageous it wasn't laying on suitable of his table, authentic?) some human beings save previous letters and playing cards, besides the undeniable fact that it would not necessariliy mean something. My advice could be to tell her to stand up to the urge to bypass by using his stuff returned, if she is enthusiastic approximately sorting out greater approximately this. finding by using somebody's papers (or email) is a contravention of have confidence and he would be dissatisfied together with her if he unearths out she has been snooping. Your advice replaced into sturdy, she would desire to permit it bypass and attempt to forget approximately it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    something is missing in the letter..and he knows what it is...but there is no sign of a racist incident..not even subtle..so sounds like there was downsizing and he must have been the one they could do without

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