Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Only 3 days left until my untalented 12 y.o. and her tween friends assault us with their Un-Talent Show! What?

What shall I do? Where can I hide? The block party is this weekend! I ran up and down the block in the middle of the night trying to induce a heart attack but it was no use. How can I catch the Swine flu? Please help with your ideas!!! The Lord is sending me terrible trials!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Ambrosia, this is simple to answer as I've been thru it before. When I was faced with a horrible trial like a sleep over, a parent conference, or a school play that my brat was "acting" (more like standing around with a dumb look) in, I would simply determine that my kid did something wrong at the last second and punish her for it by not allowing her to attend the event. Wait until she's all dressed and made up, then snag her for forgetting to replace the toilet paper. Naturally, she'll get excited and protest your screaming at her, which will give you the right to take punitive measures against her for disrespecting your authority. Send her to her room and when she cries about it, and starts throwing things around, tell her you *were* going to let he go after all, but since she started destroying the house...Go along these lines and before you know it you'll be sitting in your prayer alcove thanking The Mighty One for this Divine Inspiration.

  • Twox2
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Leave the country. That will be the only way for you to escape such a horrible fate.

    Next time you have a child you will think twice about not enrolling her in acting classes at birth, what did you expect, really?

    Get started packing now and you can be gone before anyone notices. It would be even better if you left in the dead of night so no one knows you are gone.

  • 1 decade ago

    Here's an idea: take some parenting classes.

    What kind of mother calls her own daughter untalented? Clearly the idea of offering your unwavering support to her never occurred to you. And why should it? I mean, why try building up your preteen's self-confidence, when you can just make snarky comments behind her back to perfect strangers in an attempt to gain the approval you so obviously seek.

    Newsflash: your comments aren't amusing or clever, and if the Lord is sending anyone trials, it is clearly your daughter.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Nobble the kid...use laxatives....they have those chocolate square laxettes there don't they?

    Follow these instructions the night before the scheduled "performance"

    What you do is sit the block in the sun for 10 minutes...so it softens up.

    Then very carefully with a smooth ruler....wipe away the logo that identifies it as a laxative chocolate bar on each square.

    Then wrap it in foil and say to the little tubster..

    "I'm goin' out to drink with French Toast...on no account do i want you to eat that chocolate I left in the Refrigerator"

    She'll scoff the lot...and be out of commission for days!!

    Either that or phone in a bomb threat to the Trailer park.

    Source(s): Do I have to think of EVERYTHING for you people????
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  • 1 decade ago

    As a girl who grew up with a lack of talent myself, I'm sure I assaulted my stepparents with a lot of garbage too. But they always pretended it was the best thing they'd ever seen. Whether I was singing or putting on a puppet show (I mean... really, really bad) they never dropped those big, goofy grins! And ya know why? THEY WERE DRUNK!

    So there ya go.

  • 1 decade ago

    How refreshing to read about a parent who knows their kid is untalented... Just let them have at it at the block party and record it on video for future reference....

    When they're 17 it will probably embarrass the hell out of 'em!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I had to go to one of those crappy things. Only we called it a "Talentless Show". Just bring a bottle of rum in your purse, and take a chug between acts. By the time your little sweetie gets her turn, she'll seem like a talented Miley Cyrus.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The worst singing on the planet, if it were coming from my daughters pipes, woould be the sweetest sound.....

  • 1 decade ago

    you can run but you cannot hide

    just enjoy the show preferably with a bottle of vodka by your side

  • Aggie
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Obvious troll is obvious.

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