Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Why do young women HATE nerds?

I mean, you NEVER see a young male nerd (age 13-25) with a girlfriend. EVER. They seem to remain virgins until well into their 20s, if they ever wind up losing it at all. Why are young girls so shallow? Why do they hate any guy who has an IQ in the triple digits? Why do they only like outgoing, cocky, dumbass, crime-prone meatheads? Is there any hope for young introverts/nerds/nice guys?


I mean look what happened with Cho Sung Huy, if girls had just liked him maybe it wouldn't have happened.

Update 2:

Cho Sung Huy shot up Va. Tech because he was socially rejected. Not to condone what he did, but this anti-intellectualism of rejecting nerds can cause some people to snap.

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    alot of girls like nerds...but nerds never make a move and if you don't make a move how are you supposed to get a girlfriend...truth is girls hate jerks...although they date them they would rather date a nerd than a jerk who will cheat on them...

    Source(s): im a girl
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I've seen nerds with a gf...

    I had a HUGE crush on a nerd in HS--oh it was awful--and he was big time nerd--computer programmer, taking college classes, beat the computer at chess...I was sooo obvious about how much I liked him--everyone else knew--but he was totally clueless (he's admitted as much to me now, we're still friends) maybe some of them stay gf-less because they don't realize someone's into them.

    as for Cho Sung Huy--I don't think you can summarize him like that. He had so much pain and I think there's more to it that just being rejected. And even non-nerds can be ostracized. The solution is no bullying EVER and to try to include the people who have trouble including themselves. okay, so that's an oversimplification too, but you get where I'm going.

  • Gladys
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Dude, I know your looking for answer from females but I can give you some advice on that, (I was the same at your age in all aspects except for maybe the height and weight deal). One don't think of yourself as a nerd, that don't matter anymore, this isn't the 80's. Think of your self as being innovative. Two just talk to them, you'll get a 19 no's and 1 yes. I was taught that when it comes to females especially at that age 7 out of 10 will say NO. Doesn't that mean give up, well only on those girls but not on all. Plenty of fish out there. Three don't be how I was, don't think about girls all the time, it's okay but it can be distracting, you should worry about education. Take it for me, yeah I own a company but I have NO formal education, I am still obtaining my degrees. All I have is a high school diploma. Guess where thats getting me? No where because after school I focused more on others (females) than myself, I fell behind on college and now have to make up for four years. Think of that I could of had two degrees from those four years and being working on a Masters.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have had a hard time of this too and am a lot older than you. I tend to be quiet, observant, reserved but caring and helpful but not cocky enough when it comes to flirting. The end result is, that I am a virgin well into my 30s and the depression lingers as time goes on.

    So my case can dispel the notion, that the situation will always correct itself over time.

    One point to make from your question is that cocky attitudes are favored over confidence and a find that guys who have an arrogant braggart way about them are favored over guys who simply are confident but reject the obnoxious posturing.

    That is a pure downer and wish that mentality would end someday.

    Good question.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, the Seung-hui Cho had a condition called selective mutism.

    A lot of smart guys have a hard time with stuff like this because they overthink things. If you see that a girl seems remotely interested, take a chance.Don't compare yourself to other people like that. Have some confidence and respect for yourself. If you know a person doesn't have much confidence in him/her self, do you have much confidence in them? Not usually, you probably wouldn't take them too seriously. When you have confidence in yourself, people see that and think "Wow, this dude's got his crap together!", and they respect you more for it. I know quite a few 'nice guys' that have beautiful girlfriends/wives.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't hate nerds. I married one. =)

    My husband did lose his virginity in his early 20s, but that was his choice. He was "straight edge" as a teenager, and didn't date because he hated watching his male classmates treating girls like cr*p. Sadly, most young women have self-esteem problems, so they're willing to put up with poor treatment.

    Keep in mind that young women are pressured to get boyfriends, because boyfriends are considered status symbols and rights of passage. Pay attention to a family gathering of yours sometime... you might notice that you get asked, "So, how's school/work going?" while your young female relatives get asked, "So, are you dating anyone yet?"

    Yes, there is hope for introverted, nerdy nice guys. The best husbands I know are self-described nerds... and while their wives are often cute (like me!), they're nerds, too! The primary thing is for a nice, nerdy guy to NOT get bitter, or believe the axiom that "nice guys finish last." Don't be a "nice guy." Be a *decent man,* and you'll be fine.

    Source(s): Idolizing Cho Seung Hui is PROOF that you are NOT a nice guy. He was mentally imbalanced. There is NEVER an excuse for misogyny or violence against women, no matter how often they reject you. (Note: women can sense deep-seated hatred... there's a reason guys like him get rejected.)
  • 1 decade ago

    lol its not that they're smart.. its that sometimes they can be a little unnactractive, there are really smart, cute guys that exist in this world and most girls aren't charmed by arithmatic and updates about World of Warcraft..they want a guy who knows how to talk to a lady and make her feel completely happy. someone who can save her .. (hint hint: "knight in shining armor") plus nobody wants to be with someone they can hardley look at.. nerds are nice but just not boyfriends to SOME girls :) theres always the nerdy girl who is thinking the same thing "why doesnt anyone want to date me?" its not that nobody wants to date you! its just that your looking for the wrong people

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh my. Stereotype much?

    I love my nerdy bf. Who is a total history know-it-all. I mean he remembers everything from his ap class!

    But to answer that, and since I sense a little bit of hostility, I'll give you a little advice: nerds don't go for the girls. If they did, they wouldn't be so single.

    The girls who like them are the shy girls(usually) and won't make a move. Besides it's traditionally a male role to make a move, plus it makes the girl feel wanted.

    I, personally, had to go after the past three guys I've dated. And it's fun, but it would've been better if they wouldve come after me.

    I'm confident, and I think I deserve to be. I don't think I'm bad looking :P

    See for yourself.

    Source(s): Everyone of my shy little bf's and bestfriends came to mind when writing this. And ps-stereotyping women won't get you anywhere buddy
  • 1 decade ago

    Because women are attracted to men with high testosterone levels, strong men that can kick some @ss.

    Nerds that sit on their computer chairs all day and night long trying to get their Undead mage to level 70 isn't really what women are looking for. You can have a a high IQ and have the hottest girlfriend ever. Has nothing to do with smartness. You just gotta get out there, have them notice you. If you're shy and alone in your bedroom all the time, there's no way women will even know you're alive.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    its the way the culture raises young/teen women*... and women must be accepted to be "cool"

    unfortunetly women have hard social lives.....

    the nerds are not lost, it's the women

    * not all women, im talking about the lost women

  • 1 decade ago


    If your a nerd and dress appropriately well,

    congratulations girls will run for you. Your smart and have style.

    But if your smart but have black big glasses and a shirt for old men and is tucked in.

    well i'm sorry to say that there isn't much luck.

    But most of all if you have everything above but not a nice personality, then there is no hope of dating.

    Girls prefer nice guys who are smart and dress sensibly...

    and also have abs!(not flabs)


    Hope this helps

    Btw who is Cho Sung Huy?

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