My action (tell the wife the truth) is terrible in Western countries?

Sorry to come here again with my story. But I feel very sad when that man blamed on me and seems I did something wrong. In fact I just want him to come back to his family and they will Happy together if his wife can forgive him.

I met a French man who lives in Rochester NY, in a dating website. In his profile is separated man. One day he wrote email to me said he was interested in my profile and I gave him good feeling I am nice woman. I wrote back email to him. He told me that he separated with his wife 5 years and had an unhappy marriage and already sent divorce dox to the court just waited divorce finalizing. From US he sent me a lot of love card, gifts. He called me chat with me everyday and always told me that he missed me and love me so much. He tried to understand Vietnamese culture and tradition and seemed to be my soulmate. His sweet words moved my heart and I falled in love with him and he decided to go Vietnam to see me. He saw me twice in my country and we was very happy together. He said to me he never met so beautifull, nice and well educated woman like me. He is 56 years old and older than me 21 years. He seems very nice man I never thought that he cheated on me. I love him so much with all my heart. He just bought the ticket and planned to see me third times in my country. Before he came here I asked him about his married status he still lied on me will divorce but will delay for a while to clear up his mind??? He sweared with me he loves me so much and will marry me. I feel be cheated and then I searched in internet I found his wife in Facebook. I decided to asked his wife if he separated 5 years and divorce sent to the court as he said. His wife was very shock and upset about her husband. She told me to send her all the proof of her husband affair. I think his wife should know what kind of husband she live with, when her husband cheated on her so I decided to tell her all the truth and sent her all the proof I have. I also told her before me her husband already loved a Chinese girl when he worked in China. When he left China that girl cried a lot. I knew this story because my boyfriend told me this story himseft. After talking with his wife I knew that they never been separated and he cheated on me. I feel so sorry his wife because I did not know my boyfriend cheated on me about his marriage status at the beginning. I feel hurt and broken heart, because I give my heart for a wrong man. He lied and cheated both his wife and me. I can understand his wife must in pain and hurt so much about his cheating action. Poor her she did not know anything till I told her the truths. That man called me blamed me why told the truth to his wife and why I sent to her the proof and why I destroyed his family? I said to him : You cheated on me you did not appologize me why you blamed me? Why you cheated on your wife? He said I am Vietnamese and do not understand Western thinking. He said to me my action (tell the wife truth) is terrible action in Western countries. I said to him, "I will not lower myseft to love a married man and stole happiness of other woman, I just do the things I should do and give a peace to my soul. Your cheating action is terrible in my country and affect our tradition. I feel sorry your wife so I sent her the proof. Your wife forgive or not forgive you is you and her problem. Please do not contact with me again and do not go to my country. I do not have cheating boyfriend I will not accept any cheating man." I am so sad but I know I should leave him. He loves NOBODY, he is seftfish and loves only himseft. His family has been bestrayed by him in 23 years. I did believe this man already cheated on his wife many many times. Because he often told me that: His ex girl friends never care about his marriage status. So before me he must cheated a lot women. I just could not understand why he has a nice wife, 3 lovely children and does not respect his family, chose the way to cheat a little woman from other side of the world.? Did I destroyed his family? Why an old man can cheated on me like this? I feel very sad and can not understand why that man blamed on me. My action (tell his wife the truth) is terrible in Western countries? Please kindly let me know.

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is absolutely bad & unacceptable that a married man should not cheat a woman who trusted him. He was given a good treatment & he should not further cheat others in life and this should be lesson to all those who try to do this mistake. For one who makes a mistake he has to be punished. He should be ashamed of himself. Not all men are like this. I hope you are able to get over this and find a man from your country or near your place you can love, that loves you and respects you and keeps you happy always.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi there, dont you dare blame yourself for anything. You did not destroy his family. In my opinion, he has destroyed it himself by making the decision to cheat on his wife. I think his wife would have found out sooner or later. You did what you thought was right. That man is a liar and a cheater. I hope you are able to move on from this experience. I hope it has not destroyed your trust in other men. Dont blame yourself.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is not your fault at all. It is his fault for cheating, and treating people this way. He should be ashamed of himself. Not all men are like this. I hope you are able to get over this and find a man you can love, that loves you and respects you.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    your actions are only terrible in western culture if you view it all from the cheating man"s perspective because really you did nothing wrong and the man did much wrong

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  • 1 decade ago

    It sucks but it happens. She had a right to know that her husband was a cheating bastard.

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