As a male, if I change my last name, will my family hate me?

I am in the hotel and hospitality industry and feel that my current last name, which nobody has ever pronounced correctly, is not as professional as my given middle name. I want to legally change my last name to my middle name of Anthony and drop my current last name completely. My fiance is very excited about the change and supports me. However, both my biological fathers side (my parents are divorced and my mom remarried) and my mothers side are very traditional people. I am afraid that if I drop my last name that they will hate me forever and refuse to go to the wedding. If you were in my shoes, what would you do and if you were in their shoes, what would you think? I am not ashamed of the name at all, but I honestly think that it would sound more professional if I had my middle name as my last. Any input at all is greatly appreciated. Thanks to all who answer!!!


Another idea would be to make my current last name my middle name and switch my middle to last so I am not dropping it completely.

8 Answers

  • Tina
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First of all I assume you haven't asked your parents or you wouldn't have posted your questions here. I can think of one instance where they might not be too pleased about you changing your last name and that is if you are their only male offspring who will pass on the family name. I don't know if they will hate you forever but there could be some hurt feeling on one or both sides of the family if you change your surname.

    Now, you said your surname was a problem for you at work but you were not specific there, is it your management and co-workers that can't seem to get you name right or is it customers that have a problem with your name? For the time being, let's assume that it's both. The following was taken from Wikipedia, read it very carefully.

    Name change is a basic legal act that is recognized in practically all legal systems to allow an individual the opportunity to adopt a name other than the name given at birth, marriage, or adoption. The procedures and ease with which a person can do so is highly dependent on in which jurisdiction that person resides. In general, common law jurisdictions have rather loose limitations on name changes while civil law jurisdictions are quite restrictive.

    State laws can regulate name changes in the United States; still, they cannot altogether forbid common law name changes. Several specific federal court rulings have set precedents regarding both court decreed name changes and common law name changes (changing your name "at will").

    One may be employed, do business, and enter into other contracts, and sue and be sued under any name they choose at will (Lindon v. First National Bank 10 F. 894, Coppage v. Kansas 236 U.S. 1, In re McUlta 189 F. 250).

    Such a change carries the exact same legal weight as a court decreed name change as long as it is not done with fraudulent intent (In re McUlta 189 F. 250, Christianson v. King County 196 F. 791, United States v. McKay 2 F.2d 257).

    This at will right is guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution, specifically the Fourteenth Amendment (Jech v. Burch 466 F.Supp. 714).

    The federal courts have overwhelmingly ruled that changing one's name at will, by common law, is clearly one's constitutional right. Nonetheless, one may still choose to have a court issued name change.

    I'm not suggesting that you use this method to change your name, however, you might consider being called by you middle name as your surname at work without changing any personel records, or any of you identification or government agency records much like someone would use a nickname.

    I am not an attorney but unless the problem you are having absolutely requires a legal name change this could be a good sollution for you. If you are uncertain you could contact a attorney to ask about it because in reality if you are going to do a legal name change you will need an attorney anyway.

    Source(s): Personal Experience
  • 1 decade ago

    You don't have to legally change your last name in order to be known by another name professionally. Authors, musicians and actors/actresses do this all the time but they don't legally change their names they just use their "star" name. It's just considered an alias. Not a big deal at all.

  • boogie
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Meaning no disrespect, but to change your name for such a reason sounds as weak as rainwater. Change your last name legally at the court house as a DBA, (doing business as) and print your business cards and let your employer know this . Keep your real name. And go to counseling to dig up the real reason so you can face up to it THEN change your name and not because it sounds "unprofessional".. Unless it's Patootie or Coochy, it's not unprofessional.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Any man that would consider changing his sir-name to something that sounds more professional is unprincipled and will be in the future considered shallow and with out foundations. I know of people who have been disowned and disinherited for such ridiculous behavior. I suggest that you reconsider and mature somewhat before making such a mistake.

    Source(s): Texan
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  • 1 decade ago

    Well its still apart of your name then I would do it. This is your life so you can make it what you want it to be. Your family wont hate you because you change your last name. If they do hate you, it would be unreasonably immature. What ever you do to yourself is your choice, and nobody else. I could see them frustrated with you but that would only be temporary because they love you for who you are. So if I were in your shoes, id do what I wanted to do.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Could you just learn to correct people gently?

    I had an ancestor "Souplis" who changed the spelling to "Sooplay", more or less, so people would pronounce it correctly. (He was in West Virginia and didn't always use the same spelling himself.)

    Or, on your business cards, directory and stationary, just print a pronunciation guide in one word:

    John Souplis (SOO-play)

    Unless your last name is "Slipshod" or "StinkyCheese" I don't think there is any such thing as a "professional" or "unprofessional" surname.

  • 1 decade ago

    Of course not.

    You have a great reason to change your last name and your family only wants the best for you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My family would not hate you but I do not know your family. Only you know your own family. Is your family the kind who are giant sacks of poop? If this is your family then yes they will hate you. If they are normal people then no they will not.

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