Bad fight with hubby last night. Did I mess up?

My husband and I got into an argument/fight last night. It was over money. I spent money on lingere because we're going through a "dry spell". Right now our finances are really tight but I figured it was for a good cause. That was about a week ago. Well, last night, he was going through our... show more My husband and I got into an argument/fight last night. It was over money. I spent money on lingere because we're going through a "dry spell". Right now our finances are really tight but I figured it was for a good cause. That was about a week ago. Well, last night, he was going through our online account and saw how much money I spent ($67) and got upset at me for not telling him in order to balance our account. I didn't tell him because it was supposed to be a surprise and by the the next week, I had forgotten. Anyway, I got mad because he wasn't more understanding on WHY I spent the money. It's not like I was buying new shoes...it was for both of us to enjoy. And I never spend that kind of money without telling him first. It turned into a big blow up fight and I said that "the real problem is that I have to buy lingere in order for you to have sex with me!" I ended up leaving and going to class and by the time I got home he was already in bed (which upset me more). I called him this morning to apologize and hoped he'd apologize back. But he didn't. Instead he said it was my fault and I am mean. When I asked him if he was sorry too, he said no because I make him be mean by the way I act. I know that I have no control over how he chooses to react to me. I think that's a very selfish argument. He's basically saying that it's all my fault that he blows up and says mean things and if I wasn't so negative, he wouldn't treat me that way. Is this really my fault? I realize that I should have told him I spent the money, and I will from now on. But don't both sides need to be sorry for their actions?
Update: And no, I cannot return the lingere. It's already been worn. Funny how he seemed to like it last week.
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