"This is the real world, I'm afraid. If someone absolutely does not want to be a parent, I don't see anything wrong in them giving their child up for adoption."
In response to this, I believe that there is a tremendous difference between:
a) a young mother loving her child and thinking she *might* not be capable of parenting so she gives it up
b) a young mother who loves her child but just clearly doesn't want to parent so she makes an adoption plan
c) a young mother who can't stand the life she created and views it as nothing but a burden in which adoption is definitely a better outcome
I think, on here, that a lot of circumstances are just option As being mistakened for option B.
If you don't FEEL like you are capable of parenting, does that automatically mean your parenting will suck? No. It very well could, and I have a relative who could testify to that.
My relative was not ready to raise a child. But then they had sex... and thusly, created a child. My relative had NEVER raised a child before. Not once. And they didn't think they were going to be a good parent.
But you know what?
They ended up being a reasonably okay parent. Not excellent, but they stepped up to the task. They probably didn't FEEL as though they could handle parenting, and yes, they do need assistance quite frequently, but FEELING that they couldn't parent in no way showcases their ability to DO the parenting.
I'll give you a non-adoption related example.
My mom wants to learn piano. She really likes it and wishes she could play. Unfortunately she doesn't FEEL like she could learn it well enough. Does that mean she cannot learn HOW? No. Does it determine her ability to play? To an extent, yes, if she does not have faith in herself and therefore it will influence the full amount of effort she puts forth into learning. But it doesn't mean she CAN'T.
My extended relatives, and my attempts to learn Mandarin & piano, and viewing plenty of discussions by young mothers on HERE about parenting their children.