Healing after Emotional Abuse...?
After being emotional/verbally/psychologically abused for several years...how does one completely heal from it and get themselves back? Part of emotional abuse, is to kill the victim emotionally, bring the person down as much as possible to no prevail, until the person no longer knows/trusts/recognizes and has lost themselves. That way the abuser can have better control.
So how does a person recover from this? What types of therapy assist in helping the victim get their life back and assist in finding the person they used to be before the abuse?
person they used to be, meaning: what made them, THEM
- 1 decade ago
There is no way to FULLY heal from this kind of abuse, as it is something you will always remember. However, it can get better. Finding yourself again will be hard but it is possible. Think back to before the abuse. What did you enjoy doing? What were your habits? Who were your friends? What was your schedule for the day? It's simple things that can unlock the key to remembering who YOU is.
if you dont feel you can make this journey alone, you can find a therapist, or a very supportive friend, and just talking things through can help, although professionals can give you better treatment and help you to discover more about yourself. Hope I helped
- 1 decade ago
That is a tough situation & am not a qualified therapist,but what i firmly believe is you get abused only when you let yourself be.By this I mean that in some part of your sub consiciousness you believe that the abuser is right & you have absolutley no worth & value to anything.If this what leads to emotional abuse, this very same conviction can heal you.You believe in yourself! Everytime you are faced with a situation taht looks hopeless, believe that you can control it.Believe that you can walk through this.
there is no harm in rehearsing how you would handle difficult situation in your mind.keep around you friends who can encourage you, who can constantly boost your self esteem.Stick inspirational pages, pamplets in areas where you are sure to see them.look into the miiror everyday & say aloud constantly I can do anything that i want to & nobody can stop me.If it has to be said 100 times, so be.But say it till you hear the confidence & strenght coming out of your voice.
Just remember when it loks like you have the worst problems in life, ther are others who are in worse conditions.See if you can help out others who are less fortunate when compared to you.Visit old age homes & see if you can volunteer services for them a couple of times a month.Adopt a pet and groom it yourself, see if you can take the dog with you to children;s wards in hospitals & make those kids laugh.The more you give to others the better you feel about yourself.
Hope this helps & you can heal.
- 4 years ago
You have already made great progress by walking out on this guy, you are a very smart woman! Many people can't bring themselves to do what you did and they end up in deadly situations. I think your instincts are right about wanting someone to talk to. Go to any friends/family members who you trust and tell them what's going on, talking about your feelings will really help you work through them. If you don't know who to turn to, there is probably a woman's shelter in your area that you can get in contact with and get help from. Healing takes time, but taking the first step shows how strong you are, and you will be able to do it. Don't give up <3
- Rena DLv 71 decade ago
Yes you can get your old self back. I read self help books that I got a used book stores. I must have read 30 of them. I would try these books . Some will piss you off and some will hit the nail on the head. I had to do a total makeover of me. New hair style. started using make up a lot (he didn't like it at all) I now wear green (HE didn't like green and said I looked awful in it ) So many changes. Oh when I first left him I could not stop talking about him and one day a girlfriend told me to stop and she said none of my friends liked him and were bored to death hearing me talk about him. Another thing I did was to volunteer at the local abuse shelter. This was one of the best things I did for myself. I learned allot by hearing the stories from the girls. It was a lot longer getting over him than I wanted it to be and I have not married again. I really think I am happier alone and dating than married. I wish you my best
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- 1 decade ago
i went through that kind of abuse maybe a year ago for several years. now i haven't fully "recovered" but i can definitely say i feel more like me than i have in nearly 3 years.
what i did was cut that person out of my life completely (not as easy as it should have been). then i had close friends to confide in. i soon found a new boy friend (the old one was responsible for this) and he is currently helping me leave my past behind and finding myself.
but mostly it is up to me. i have to keep telling myself that i am worth a lot and i am beautiful. i have people who would miss me if i was gone. it is okay to have emotions, it is okay to feel. it is okay to trust people and let them trust you. and most of all you can trust you.
the only thing i think would help more is talking to people who have overcome this themselves.
remember that that person is an evil, sadistic person and it was all lies. so find the beautiful person hiding under all that emotional and verbal hurt. they are still there
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I don't think that the absued person ever fully recovers or becomes the person that they were ...
They become someone else and even after years of treatment, therapy you still remember what that person said and did even the smallest of things can bring back those memoriesSource(s): Physically abused by step father Sexually and verbally abused by uncle
- 1 decade ago
you have to realize that what this person[s?] said don't mmean anything. you need to look at yourself for who you are- write down everything positive you KNOW about yourself-not what this abuser made you think. surround yourself with positive friends who love and care about you, and who will protect you.