I am 8 months pregnant with my boyfriend. Our relationship has been going great... until I went on his email?
and found that he is on the dating website for affairs and saw his profile. He hadn't met with anyone yet... but then I found an email to a craigslist ad to meet up with a girl for drinks. I confronted him and he deleted his profile. Should I stay or should I go? I would leave him in a minute, but now there is a baby involved...
Thanks for the info on support. I've been going to counceling. He said he was drunk and sick of my nagging to stay home and that I won't let him have space. Another thing is that I am totally alone. I have no friends or family since I just moved. He helps a lot with buying clothes and getting the baby room together. Am I just making excuses? Or is he just getting scared of reality and responsibility. I would leave in a second because I never would have stayed with someone who cheats, but this is different cause maybe he feels like he's stuck. He's been really great ever since and calls me and stays home now. I'm just so confused. Thinking of maybe staying so he can help with the baby and then leave him after I can move the baby back where my family is... thoughts?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Wow, you got yourself in a real pickle. There's a baby involved, yes, but that baby doesn't know his father yet. If this child were already born and of a knowing age, I would say go to counseling with him. But, since the child hasn't been born yet, you've GOT to do what's right for that child. Do you want your child raised in an environment where it's okay for his father to cheat on his mommy? Nah. I don't think so. It's YOUR job to do what's right for you and that baby. Noe anyone else's. Move on and get out of that unhealthy situation. Being on your own raising a child will be testing, which is no secret, but you can't let a man treat you bad and get away with it. If you do let him get away with it, he will be a repeat offender.
Run while you still can, girl. Get away from that nonsense while you still have your dignity and self-respect intact. If you continue putting up with it, it will destroy you and the image you have of yourself.
I get what you're saying. I really do, but you need to stop...just stop right now and think about this...
You caught him on a DATING WEBSITE. Asking other women out for drinks!!! Why on earth would you put yourself and your unborn child in a family situation with a man like that? If he feels trapped, honey, don't you think he should have thought about that BEFORE you got pregnant? Any feelings he may have of being trapped aren't caused by YOU, they're caused by the repercussions of his actions. You got pregnant and are dealing with it like a responsible woman. He got you pregnant and isn't being a responsible, mature contributor to the relationship. I don't get why women always blame themself when their man cheats, then they think up all these excuses for why to forgive them for such an unforgiveable act. There are so many women that stay with cheaters and it's NOT WORTH IT. It destroys self esteem and self respect, and these will be behaviors your child will grow up and find accepable in their own personal life. Would you want your baby, when it's grown, to stay with an unfaithful mate?? If it were me, I'd want to find the unfaithful mate of my child and threaten them within an inch of their life if they ever hurt my kid. Treat yourself the way you'd treat any loved one. You only have one chance to raise a child in a healthy, thriving environment. Why would you let some stupid man get in your way of providing that for your baby? Think hard about it. He will beg and plead, but you need to leave and step out of that situation for awhile and get your thoughts together AWAY from him. Once you're away and you find you love him and he says he's dying to make it work, then and only then should you consider going back. I firmly believe in...once a cheater, always a cheater. So if you do leave and end up back with him, you need to set some ground rules and firmly stick to them, otherwise cheaters will sneak around behind your back and try to get away with murder. This is the type of man you're letting yourself be with and letting your child grow up around as a role model. There's no way in hell I'd let any child of mine grow up around a cheater because that's what the child will consider acceptable behavior in life.
- 1 decade ago
Well I mean, if you'd leave in a heartbeat if there was no baby, then that says something. Would you want your baby to have a father like that? Or would you rather go out there and find a guy that actually would care about starting and caring for his family?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
If you are ever going to leave, do it now before you become dependent on him. It will be a lot harder to leave after you have been together with the kid for some time.
- 1 decade ago
that's why I'm always against this whole boyfriend and/or girlfriend thingy, Premarital sex is always wrong, it leades to catastrophic events, you should have had sex with your husband only !!!
however, as they say, too little too late !