Shannon asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Do you like this poem?

My eyes stare blank at the paper below

The thoughts in my head swirling and twirling

But I see nothing, hear nothing and feel nothing around me

My mind is set

It will be done

But the light in my face flickers off

And the world around me flashes on

It will never be done

I will never compete

My life is over

For without my words everything is incomplete

Is it good or does it suck? I've never really tried to write a poem and wanted to give it a try......ahaha

6 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Nor have I tried to write a poem,because poetry was my nightmare at school.But still,you not only impressed me but I daresay even inspired

    me.So I sat down and attempted to complete what you left unfinished.

    Here goes for nothing.

    "But wait,there is a little light

    Seems to be shining bright,

    Maybe there is hope for me yet,

    Of that I am now sure and can bet

    Back to my paper and pen

    My life is going to be complete again".

    Don't lose hope.You can write.

    Have a Great Day.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    the ending lines are better, it starts to get exciting but the last line is a tad too long. the repitition:

    It will never be done

    I will never compete

    My life is over

    is dramatic and flows when reading well

  • 1 decade ago

    Nice

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i liked it, but what are you talking about in the poem. at first sounded like you wanted to kill yourself then at 2nd thought it sounded like you got into a bad fight and got hurt

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  • Debra
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I think you are good at it Mr. Llama.Keep writing.

  • Kirby
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Can I have a balloon? Do they float?

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