i am being charged with domestic violence... I am very lost and worried... St. Louis County Missouri?
Id love to start by making myself look and feel better for tackling my wife by saying how absolutely insane she is and all these things about her but it probably wont help me in this situation.. The deal is in mid-May this year I was arrested for "domestic abuse". She has a problem with breaking my stuff and was throwing my things out of the window so i tackled her. Police were called and they took me to jail. I was in the holding area of the jail for no more than 2 hours and they called my name and released me. I was told I'd receive something in the mail or at my house i guess for a courtdate. Well as of yesterday I still had received or heard nothing of this... Heres one problem. I want to get into law enforcement. If I have a domestic abuse charge I cannot get into this career path that ive wanted for so long. So i ask around for peoples opinions and since i havent heard anything of the courtdate or anything alot of people were saying that the case was more than likely thrown out.. So that made me feel alot better about the career thing,, Well go figure today the wife (soon to be ex) calls me to tell me they are going to prosecute me still. She tells me the courtdate and all this nonsense. She is a pathlogical liar so I dont really buy it because she says things like that just to get a rise out of me. So I call the stl county jail/courthouse to see what the deal really was with that incident. They told me that they could find nothing on file for that incident and that it was probably thrown out just like I thought it should be because she really made it out to be sooo much worse than it was to the police.. She claimed to have a black eye, dislocated nose, fattened lip, i knocked her unconscience, had a concussion... it wasnt even a tackle. i basically bearhugged her and took her to the ground, bracing myself from landing on her!! saw her 2 days later and she had not a bruise, scratch, nothing! the police that nite took pictures of her "black eye" which I had always believed to just be her mascara running from her crying.. and she even went as far the day after the abuse to go to the ER!!! Just trying to build a case on me to screw me over! I mean ive gotten into car accidents and wasnt hurt and they took me to the er anyway, did scans on me and found i had strained things.. So how credible is that crap? well anyway what a friggin coincidence i get a letter in the mail today from stl county something or another and it looks like i guess the state is prosecuting me? becasue it says st louis county vs "my name" and it shows her as a witness.... Im very confused. first of all why is it not her vs me? Secondly from what i understand if she chooses not to prosecute the state steps in? and if thats the case could she have called to tell them to prosecute me still (say within the past few weeks could she have done this??).. dont know what to do. very confused. The papers i received today say i am now being charged with domestic violence?? i thought i was arrested for domestic abuse? sigh.. also there is one sentence that says i guess what happened in a nutshell. it says, " I charged at her, tackled her and threw her into a wooden stand".. Which is wrong. Like I wonder if just those play on words was enough for the state to prosecute?? There was no running, charging at her! I was not a linebacker tackling a runningback and i sure as hell did not throw her into a wooden stand or wooden anything for that matter. happened right in the middle of the living room, we hit the floor....... It appears that this is a Class A misdeameaner which would disqualitfy me from ever joining any law enforcement? this is my first offense of any type of violence at all. do i need a lawyer? i need to know how much im looking at spending for one here because if i can i need to get this off my record or have it reduced or something becasue law enforcement is my dream... And really she is the crazy one in all this. no doubt i did what i did so i dunno if it matters but i have so much dirt and character issues on her its crazy... she has a rap sheet, shes bipolar... for gods sake she accused someone of raping her in january becasue she was so damn drunk and knew id leave her if i knew what was going on.. told the police and me two different stories.. finally told me they had been kissing b4 hand and went and purchased alcohol together to go back to his house and drink.. o and did i mention she was pregnant??? YEAH! she dropped the charges 2 days later... just a tidbit into her insanity. hell, would her insanity at all help me in this case?? i need alot of advise here please!!
- ?Lv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Lost and worried? Darn Wordy! Please do not go into law enforcement. Your statement speaks volumes!! Have the sense to realize that you are not getting into law enforcement and it is your fault. You responded by asking around for opinion, calling the Jail which is not the court house, The papers you received tell you exactly when to appear and your charges. This is not going away because you let it go to far. No one should go into law enforcement who questions : domestic violence vs. arrested for domestic abuse. Dude you were arrested for the charge and now await court. Don't waste the money on an attorney. You won't pass the psych exam for law enforcement. I Hope!
- 1 decade ago
You need to clear your head..You are suffering from a court action many persons have had to deal with when they make bad decisions and end up with psychos so first you need to get a lawyer or public defender. I am not sure of the state laws but Florida is pretty strict about these laws.I am not sure of your age or circumstances like do you go to school? Can you get certified letters of references like from responsible people a coach a teacher an employer a counsellor. Anger management and probally a restraining order is in your future. Don't take it so personal it comes with the program. Woman are so hormonic I think it is for your good as well. Can't be around people who are throwing your things out the window. I had a person put a chain and a padlock on a refrigerator that I just purchased so I could not eat. You never know what your getting into.This realationship is probally over or not so stop with all the head games and get the facts Jack and save your *** while your pride is something that will heal...
- 1 decade ago
you just need to stay calm. don't let her upset you. don't let things she's done in the past concern you anymore.
if this does go to court, be honest. calmly explain what happened, admit you "tackled" her - but explain that it wasn't meant to be violent, merely inhibitory. you couldn't seem to stop her when she was throwing your things out a window, so you attempted to hold her back. you both fell to the ground, but to your knowledge she didn't seem injured by your action.
you'd have a lawyer who could help you sort out everything, but i think being honest, understanding, and considerate is the best way to get through the situation. if you're enraged, negative, and obnoxious it will just make you look like the bad guy. you don't want that. so be friendly and positive, start now to get into your police job, or some other line of work that really interests you, to keep your mind off your wife. don't let her drag you down. even if you can't do the exact police job you desire after this, i'm sure you can find a similar career that you'll be happy with.
- 1 decade ago
well these charges are very serious and you should get a lawyer....you will have to tell the judge your side and be prepared with some kind of evidence (dirt) on your wife....the lawyer will be able to tell you what you will need. also dont let her get you worked up because if you get hot headed she can use that against you...;...