I am sorry your boyfriend is treating you badly. You do not deserve to be treated like this.
I had a lady friend that I met while attending collage in Oklahoma. She had a boyfriend who cheated and beat her and was forceful with her too. And don't deny what you feel... If your heart and mind tells you he did it - He did it! This young lady confided in me some real shameful secrets, and at the time I did not know what to say so I did not say anything. I just listened to her, after class, every week. We would buy Baskin Robbins ice cream and drive to the park to talk.
At first I couldn't believe she was putting up with this clown. She would shed tears as we sat in my car, in the park. I would hold her hand while she cried. For about a month I listened to her broken heart, waiting for the right words to come into my mind to comfort her. Then one day while she was crying I took her hand, asked her to look at me, and said, "Nothing between you and him is going to change until you get tired of it." She stopped crying.
I told her that she was allowing this guy to do these things to her and that he would keep on doing them until she got fed up with it. Then and only then would things change.
We kept meeting and talking but I noticed she didn't cry anymore when she spoke. She still told me how he hit her or threw her down, but that devistated sound was no longer in her voice. After a month or so, she called me and told me she realized I was right and that she broke it off with that clown.
Now, you don't feel at this moment that you have the strength to do anything, so remember what you just read. Dig deep inside you soul and find the strength. Pull it up and use it. If you make a decision that you are sick and tired of it, report abuses to the police and no matter how much pleading and apologizing you hear from him, do not waver. You can not change him, he will not change. Just stand up...Pray....Be strong. You don't see or feel it yet, but one day you will say, "God was with me and I did not even know it." Your suffering will carve a deep hole in your heart and the good news is, God is going to replace your pain with compassion and an understanding the average woman does not have. Cheer up!