To Jehovah's Witnesses only please i need your help?

Im 21 and ive been inactive for 3 years. I want to become a publisher again and eventually get baptized as i know this is he right thing to do and i love Jehovah. However ive been dating my boyfriend now for 3 years. He is against religion of any kind, he believes in God though just not religion. I am completely in love with him he is the nicest sweetest person and everyone loves him, that's the only thing that is wrong with him. Im questioning the fact that if i become a publisher he will stop me from further advancing. Advice please, i really don't want to brake up with him i love him dearly. He doesn't mind it when i go to the kingdom hall, i just don't know how hard it will be for us because he does not understand that it is a sin to fornicate and he wants to get married when he graduates from college and has a good job he has two more years to go. Please give me advice. JW ONLY please.


Thank you so much to everyone, i am suffering so much because i love Jehovah, and i love my boyfriend very much. I would love for him to accept a book study and that is going to be a goal of mine. Because right now i am not willing to give up on the relationship just yet. I am always going to put Jehovah first no matter what.

And to make it a little clearer i have been inactive since i was 13 im sorry i wrote 3 years my mind got a litle cooku there while writting, and i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years

Update 2:

Mr. Deeds, thank you, he is against religion but once he told me that he would accept a book study just to see what it was about. But if he is willing to go trough with it, i will find the best brother possibly an elder to give him study that way all of his questions can be answered. His main argument is that religion is just something made up by men to control men, and that the bible was written by inperfect men, things like that so if i can get a brother to touch his heart i will be so happy. He really does have a big heart. Jehovah is gathering all of his lost sheep (as to say) before the world ends and maybe he is one. Ive heard of even criminals who have become witnesses so i have hope in him. If he ever asks me to choose between him and Jah which he has never done before i will with out a doubt choose Jah, my love for Jah and his things are not comparable.

Update 3:

Edit: the reason why i became inactive is because i had doubts about the organisation but now i know there is no other. And i have been trough a lot and my family my father's family are atheists and they have influenced me a lot, because i always told my self that if they arent in paradise with me, they i dont want to be there. Also ive had a very bad example from my stepfather who has been expelled 2 times and he is has a lot of hatred towards me but he is now changing. I dont blame anyone for my decisions anymore, but myself.

Update 4:

I was raised in the truth in Cuba, my stepfather's family are all witnesses and they gave me book study at the age of 5 and from there on i became a publisher until the age of 13 when i became inactive but i never stopped going to the Commemoration of Jesus' Death (im not sure if this is how you say it in english) and i have never missed one assembly and i attend meetings mostly on sundays, now i am going to get back on m y feet but the truth has always been in my heart

Update 5:

Everyone please pray for me, i spoke to my boyfriend and i told him i wanted to become publisher and eventually get baptized and i asked him not to come in between me and my goals. And he said he was not going to sacrifice his needs and that i was very selfish and i only thought about me me and he said: what about me was is in it for me? I told him to think about it and that i was not asking much from him and he just said there was nothing to think about. And he broke up with me. Im in tears right now. My heart is broken right now, and im begging Jehova to giveme strenght because im doing this for him and he has made me open my eyes and realise its not worth it.

Update 6:

I woke up today feeling so weak, i cried my self to sleep last night. I just cant beleive a 3 year relationship is over, but this has made me realise that there is nothing standing in my way now. After i woke up i turned on the computer and i saw so many answers here, i could not be more thankful for all of the support i have received from you guys. Thank oh so much, please keep me in your prayers, My name is Ailec Rojas and i live in Orlando Florida USA

thank you and feel free to email me

Update 7:

A lot of you have written to me to my yahoo account, but i dont use that account guys and for some reason i try and reply to you all but it doesnt let me So please write me hear:

and i will thank you all so much

26 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I was in a similar situation. When I started studying I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. She was the love of my life. But after I started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses, about 3-4 months in, she told me that I needed to make a decision. I had to choose between her and Jehovah.

    I choose Jehovah and never looked backed. Jehovah had blessed me over and over again over the years. I KNOW that I made the right choice. ALWAYS put Jehovah FIRST and you can't go wrong. (Matthew 6:33) “Keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to YOU."

    If you have the book "Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work, Volume 2", look at chapter 3 entitled "Is This Person Right for Me?" and Chapter 35 "How Can I Become God’s Friend?"

    Also you can look in the book "The Secret of Family Happiness" 2006


    Look at Chapter Two "Preparing for a Successful Marriage"

    Hope that this helped

    EDIT --

    If he is open to a Bible study, that would be great. I thought you said though that he was "against religion of any kind" that is why I made the comment the way I did.

    Even with this, still be careful. It has happened before that someone studies just to make things go better for now, and then once you and or him dedicate your life to Jehovah, everything changes. So just make sure that if he does study, that he is taking it seriously. Of course you can't read hearts, so you have to do this to the best of your ability.


    I just read your update. I know that it hurts right now, but the hurt you feel now is NOTHING compared to the hurt you would of felt if he was like that after you got married.

    I commend you for the stand you are taking for Jehovah and I am SURE that He has taken note of what you are doing for His name and your relationship with Him. You will look back at this moment years from now and get down on your knees and thank Jehovah that you made this choice to serve Him and stand up for what is right.

    You have a world wide Brotherhood right behind you too, including your friends here on R&S. If you need anything, just ask. We are here for you.

    You will be in my prayers Sister.


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  • Shar B
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Boy! Have I been where you now are! When I was 16, I started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses. I had a worldly boyfriend at the time who lived out of state. We wrote to each other every day and talked on the phone. I began telling him some of the things I was learning but he really didn't have much to say about it. He was periodically attending a church in his state but he wasn't religious. Then, when I made the decision I wanted to get baptized, I wrote and told him the happy news. His response? A post card which read in part, "You are nothing but a damn Jehovah Witness! God can't give you a baby, but I can." I couldn't believe what I read! This came spewing out of the guy I thought really cared about me. He, in his own warped mind, must have thought I was joining some kind of religious order or something, like becoming a nun? Go figure. My response? I wrote him back and told him that if God wanted to give me a baby he would. He gave the Virgin Mary one. He asked that I mail him back everything he ever gave me; all my gifts. Although I was shocked by this, at the same time I was happy because I knew that this guy was proving what he really was and that saved me tons of future problems. I was baptized the following year at age 17. 40 years later, I am still serving Jehovah. A word to the wise, however. Don't think that just any Jehovah's Witness will do when it comes time to finding a mate who serves Jehovah. Being a baptized Witness is very important, but so is compatibility, good communication, similiar outside interests, similiar goals, maturity, etc. Bottom line? When it comes time to find a mate in Jehovah's organization, make sure that he loves Jehovah more than you; cause if he does, he will never do anything purposely to hurt you in any way, because of his love for Jehovah. "At first there's pain and then the gain." Gaining life forever in Jehovah's New Earth.

    Source(s): JW-40 years and counting.
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  • 1 decade ago

    You still seem confused with what you really want!

    You said, "because right now i am not willing to give up on the relationship just yet. I am always going to put Jehovah first no matter what". Yet your still with your boyfriend! That's not putting Jehovah first.

    Did not Satan convince Eve that it was the right thing from eating from the tree? That desirable thing that Satan put in front of her cost her, her life!

    We are commanded to only marry in the lord, its a command. There are so many brothers and sisters that marry out of the lord, some have even said, "there is no one in the truth for me". That's like saying to Jehovah no -one in your organization is good enough for me. I am not saying you said that, but the reality is, putting Jehovah first will give you rich blessings.

    Matthew 6:33, “Keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to YOU.

    Lets say, that your boyfriend does not except the truth, you get married and Armageddon comes! How will you feel, knowing that he may not get through in to the new system? When the great tribulation comes, will your husband be strong enough to help you get through it. It isn't called "The Great Tribulation" for nothing.

    When the tribulation comes, if your boyfriend/husband is not in the truth, you "may" start to resent been in the truth knowing what is shortly going to take place, that could in return cost you your life. That would be such a shame when you have got so far.

    Your brothers and sisters are here to help you, so are those from your old cong. Why not make a stand for the truth and contact an elder and start on the narrow path to everlasting life, that is just on the "horizon".

    Whatever you decide, if you came back in the truth, you will be blessed from Jehovah. Remember that Jehovah never lets go of us, it's us who let go of him! Draw close to Jehovah, and he will draw close to you.

    Brotherly Love


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  • 1 decade ago

    You should talk with him about it before you make your decision. Tell him your desires and need to serve Jehovah. If he doesn't understand and wont let you do what is right, then the decision of whether to stay with him or not would be a lot more clear.

    You need to be honest with him. He needs to know how much you love Jehovah and that He will always come first, if that's your wish to be active again. If he can not stop having sex with you then being with him wouldn't be wise, would it? You'd have that temptation ALWAYS. Now I'm not going to say worldy men don't take relationships serious or don't know how to love. Because that is a false statement.

    I am married to an unbeliever and he is a wonderful man. I love him dearly and he loves me. He doesn't oppose at all to my meetings or service or association with the brothers. Our marriage works, and that's because we have COMMUNICATION. That's what you need. You need to be honest and straight with him. If you cant come to an agreement or if you see that it will be very difficult, then you should know its not a good idea.

    Like others said, what's more important? Everlasting life, living the life that Jehovah intended for us? Or living THIS life, enjoying just a few more years.... it would seem the choice would be obvious.

    I recommend you start praying to Jehovah and letting him know of all your worries and desires, CONSTANTLY. If you haven't done so already. Also getting help from your local Kingdom Hall.

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  • Mark
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I was about 23 when I began studying. I was very popular and had many girlfriends. All my friends believed that I would never become a witness because I could never follow the bibles teachings. The more I studied the more I realized that Jehovah was real and this was the truth. I gave up all my friends. I was never so lonely in my life. But, I stuck to Jehovah and prayed that he would help me to find good association. I ended up meeting some brothers my age. I soon found out that they were true friends. One who became my best friend, I ended up marrying his sister. As I look back in my past and see my old friends now, I can honestly say Jehovah has blessed me. My old friends became serious alcoholics, drug users, married and divorced. My best friend spent about 10 years in jail. If I gave in when I first started studying, I know I would probably be dead right now. Many of my friends are. Im 47, and have such a faith full wife and 3 great kids.

    Let Jehovah help you, like he helped me. If your boyfriend truly loves you, he would do anything not to loose you.That includes marrying you if your conscience bothers you from having premarital sex. I'm glad you are studying again and I hope to meet you in the new system.

    Don't let anyone get in your way of serving Jehovah. If I listened to my friends I couldn't even imagine where I would be right now....Feel free to email me anytime...please make the right choice...Mark

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  • Rick G
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I know that you are facing choices and you have to decide which one you love most, Jehovah God or your boyfriend. By the response of your boyfriend, it is time to determine who LOVES you the most.

    He seems to be saying "unless you keep providing yourself to me, you are "selfish"".

    Yet you know Jehovah's response.

    The others here that have been to the convention will tell the Drama this year about the Father welcoming his son back reached all of our hearts. Jehovah keeps opening up to so many the way back and it is a welcoming group back at the Hall.

    One of the young men on Y!A has also working to overcome the same situation, so as to be able to return to Jehovah's service and his Family. So you are not alone, and you have a cheering section, as you could see by the many answers you got.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    “No one can slave for two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stick to the one and despise the other. You cannot slave for God and for [your heart's *un*theocratic desire]." --Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:13

    ". . . 'You must love Jehovah your God with your *whole* heart, soul, strength and mind,’ and, ‘your neighbor as yourself.’” --Luke 10:27

    How can you show love for Jehovah, while ignoring his wise & loving advice?

    You do seem to realize that the best thing for you to do, is to go ahead & come back to Jehovah, with a *whole* heart this time.

    So, what is the best way to witness to your current boyfriend?

    Is it by going against God's wise advice?

    Or, by actually following it, & perhaps him becoming interested enough to look further into the matter, & *maybe* change his attitude?

    Please read this set of articles, & look up *all* of the Scriptures therein . . . They were 'written just for you'! :

    What Has Happened to Love? :

    - The desire to be loved

    > Why True Love Is Hard to Find <especially consider this one!

    - How You Can Find True Love


    AND, this one is especially (but, not only) for him:

    What's Wrong With Premarital Sex?

    - What Fornication Includes

    - Serious Threats

    - Learning Self-Control

    PLUS, you might share these with him:


    He is against religion of any kind, he believes in God though . . . His main argument is that religion is just something made up by men to control men"

    Religion--What Good Does It Do?

    - Why Many Have Turned From Religion

    - Religion Used for Evil Ends

    - “What Do I Care?”

    Does It Matter Which Religion You Choose?

    - How Do Religions Get Started?

    - Whom Do Religions Want to Please?

    "Can I Worship God in My Own Way?" :

    - A Need All of Us Share

    - Why Are People Leaving Traditional Religions?

    - Is "Private Religion" the Answer?

    What Does the Future Hold for Christianity?

    - A Sneak Attack on Christianity

    - Christianity Subverted

    - True Christians Shining in the Darkness

    Should You Believe Everything You Hear? :

    - Propaganda Can Be Deadly

    - The Manipulation of Information

    - Do Not Be a Victim of Propaganda!

    - Is the Work of Jehovah's Witnesses Propagandistic?

    The Bible---Just a Good Book? :

    - Cherished and Suppressed ;

    - The Struggle for a Bible in Modern Greek ;

    - The Story of the Makarios Bible--A Previously Hidden Treasure

    (These 3 share examples of how manmade religion has tried to keep God's Word out of the hands of the common people. Would it have attracted so much negative attention if it had been what he thinks?)

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  • Mindy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I have read your entire post and I have to say this, you do realize that this whole mess would have gone so much differently and better if you were with a man who really loved Jehovah?

    I'm studying the Bible with the Witnesses and I can see more and more that what I'm doing is the right thing. Sweetie, God knows you have strong needs and he will satisfy them in his time and his way. Right now babe you gotta get your tail in gear. You have gotten some great advise from many witnesses here.

    I get as horny as the trumpet section in a orchestra at times and I know I can easily go out there and find a so called decent man in this world EASILY. I don't want that though, I deserve better and so do you.

    Look at the responses from the witnesses here, it's so obvious that they have it. Read what Myro said, he's freakin awesome! I have emailed him and his wife many times, sometimes what he says is hard to swallow but it's all from the Bible. He doesn't like me talking about him like this, so I'm gonna email you (look for my email). I am also gonna alert this guy Reo, he is studying like me and he has gone through some things, I'm sure that he will be encouraging for you.

    Don't be a fool. Let your ex-boyfriend go, if you love him the way you say you do you should let him go. Your being with him won't help him or you babe. Cry if you must, I know how you feel, trust me I do, but it's gonna be okay, it's better this way.


    Source(s): Studying the Bible
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  • 1 decade ago

    BlahNii hit it right on the money. This is precisely what Adam went through. He was very much in love with his beautiful wife. Of course he was! She was literally made for him. He was supposed to be madly in love with her. But Satan knew that too and used Eve against Adam. Eve, of course, allowed herself to be used in this despicable way. But Adam deliberately chose his wife over his God. He loved Jehovah God very much but he loved his wife more. It may sound romantic (baby, I love you more than anything and anyone) but the cold reality is that loving anything and anyone more than Jehovah is, in the final analysis, death. Adam did not even give Jehovah a chance to remedy the situation.

    Give Jehovah a chance to remedy the situation. There was a woman - an actress - years ago who was very much in love with a man but was studying and about to become a baptized publisher. She was torn between this man and the God about whom she was learning. She chose Jehovah and in her own words, the intense love in her heart for this man faded away within a matter of days. Now love is not a light switch, we cannot turn it off and on. But it would seem that Jehovah can. She served Him until the day she died.

    I am sorry your heart is broken. But it will heal. I promise you. Philippians 4:13: "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me."

    Hannah J Paul

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  • 1 decade ago

    You want a happy, mature, meaningful marriage.

    Your children will deserve happy, mature, meaningful parents.

    To provide that in a way that Jehovah meant, it takes two happy, mature, meaningful servants of Jehovah to do that.

    One Witness can work extra hard and pick up some of the slack for the marriage, and for the children.

    But it is never the same than if both were strong servants of Jehovah.

    Don't settle for less due to a bad decision.

    Jesus said his sheep would hear his voice and LISTEN. If he is truly sheep-like, he will respond in time.

    Step back and let him make his true intentions known.

    He may have said what he said out of anger and hurt. BUT he may have said what he said because that is what is really deep down in his heart.

    A little time will make it clear which it is. In the meantime, go to meetings, pray, and read the Bible. Talk to mature ones in the congregation. Let their enthusiasm about the truth encourage you and make you strong.

    Source(s): One of Jehovah's Witnesses
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