Boyfriend sent birthday card to ex girlfriend?

I found out my boyfriend sent a birthday card to his ex girlfriend. I confronted him about it and he said it was a thank you card for someone then an anniversary card for someone else. He "finally" admitted it was a birthday card and that they have remained friends since they broke up although they haven't spoken to each other in months. He loved her deeply, but she broke up with him. He says he loves me, that I am his one and only and wants me to move in with him. I'm very upset about this and won't take his calls. 1) the card being sent 2) he lied about it 3) this hurt me a lot. Am i being insecure or overly sensitive. He said he was just being a nice guy. Why would he try and make contact if he didn't want a response.

31 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The card isn't a big deal, the fact you had to pry the information out of him is.......

    Why he did it isn't really your concern, he tried to keep it from you, that's a real concern you need to discuss with him


  • luzell
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    Boyfriend Birthday Card

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You need to be asking yourself why he felt he could not be up front with you and not why he didn't tell you, of course he's not gonna say anything its obvious he thought you would disprove and begin to question him on his reasoning and that's exactly what you did I'm sure. Not only that but belittling him at the same time for being nice to an old friend or girlfriend in love or not in love people are people and nice people are the strangest of all and remember she broke up with him maybe he feels that in some small way a birthday card sent to someone on their birthday is a small gesture to say I'm still a good guy regardless of the past and above all else I'm sorry. Now this may be a little hard to grasp considering the first thing that will pop into your mind will be whats he got to be sorry for but that's the thing actions do speak louder than words especially for words that go unspoken. Don't let something as small as a birthday card or a lie that was intended to keep from getting into the situation at hand run your decision. Oh and I would say unless you catch him messing around with someone else (ie. sleeping together) then don't ruin your relationship because you let your emotions get the best of you. I hope this is helpful and enjoy your time with the person you care for.

  • Janet
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Maybe he did it b/c he suspected that getting his ex a card was still a sore spot for you and that by getting you a card it would just piss you off and remind you of that whole mess. He was wrong to try and cover it up, but I think it's too bad that you're so jealous and insecure that you can't handle your boyfriend remaining friends with an ex. Dinner is much more meaningful than a $2.99 Hallmark card. If he took the ex to dinner and mailed you a card, that would be so much worse. Or if sent her a card and forgot your birthday completely.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well I feel that he had a nice relationship with her and that he is very comfortable with her and wanted 2 send her something 4 her birthday. It's not like he's trying 2 make you feel bad. He probably didn't talk 2 her 4 months in concern 4 your feelings. He probably didn't know how you would take it. Yeah he probably should have done it step by step instead of sending her a birthday card one day. He could have talked 2 you about it and took it slowly then when it was time 4 her birthday sent the card and you probably would have felt better. Maybe you would feel better if she had a boyfriend of her own though, but still you should talk 2 him about it instead of ignoring him. Just tell him what you said here and why you feel this way!

    Good Luck With Your Decision!!!!!!!!!!! XD!

  • 4 years ago

    Have you lost your ex, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. Learn here

    1 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.

    2 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.

    3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.

    4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.

    5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.

  • 1 decade ago

    The fact that he lied about it to begin with sounds like he had a suspicion that what he did was wrong. If he was a friend to his ex before becoming her boyfriend, sending her a birthday card is just a way of staying friends.

    Frankly, I think you should be more upset about the lying. If/when you confront him about it, just be sure to minimize the "ex-girlfriend" part of the conversation. Holding something like that over a guy's head is likely to sour your relationship.

    If he keeps bringing up the ex-girlfriend while you're focused on the lying, I'm sure you can guess where his attention has been.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sending the card isn't a big deal but lying about it means he has something to hide. Not that hes cheating on you or anything but if he really was over her and just sent it to be friendly he shouldn't of had such a problem being honest with you. I'm sure hes not in love with her or anything to serious but it sounds like he might not be completely over her and is nervous about it. This incident will hopefully make him realize he has some things to work out and Im sure things will blow over soon and you two will be fine. Good luck! Sorry that guys can suck so much sometimes!

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't ever go to conclusions very fast.

    You do have a right to be upset.

    The fact that he loved her and maybe even still loving her right now, and that he sent her a birthday card...he might be using you to get over her.

    I've seen it a lot.

    but as i said don't go to conclusions very fast. He really might be trying to be a nice guy.

    answer his calls and talk to him, in person not on the phone.

  • 1 decade ago

    your not being insecure or overly sensitive your just being a woman.almost all women get upset when their current boyfriend it talkingg to an ex.this is because they want to be the only women in their mans life.[other than his family]you should think your the problem.just askes him if he messing with her if he says no you sould believe him [if not you guys need to work on your trust problems in your relationship].hen ask him does he truly love you if he says yes believe him.dont let that one mistake come between you and your will all work out.

    Source(s): my mind and heart plus im a therapist
  • 1 decade ago

    I think the only real issue you need to deal with is that he lied. If he was just being a good friend he could have just told you the truth, but lying can ruin any relationship.

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