Miss X. asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Is this poem alright ?

Him

Because of him, I feel weak

I can’t even sleep

Because of him, my life is bleak

Because of him, every night I weep

When I’m with him, I feel nauseous

Even when I think of him, I feel dolorous

When I see him with someone else, I feel jealous

And I’m constantly anxious

But the thing is, he doesn’t know

That my feelings for him are so

When I lie in bed

I feel this horrible dread

That I just can’t get out of my head

Why Can’t I tell him?

Many times I’ve been on the brim

But I just can’t, as if it’s a crime

And to be honest, I regret it every time

Jokes, i know its a bit depressing..but i wrote it when i was feeling down about something. But it all got sorted out in the end : )

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    I personally like it, because I can relate to it. Although, as somebody else mentioned, nauseous and dolorous aren't exactly the best of couplets. Other than that, though, I find your poem to be wonderful. (:

  • 1 decade ago

    It's good, but I wouldn't couplet nauseous with dolorous. Possibly change that line and couplet it with cautious?

    Source(s): Poetry Blogger http://www.poetrycorner.co.nr
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Us blokes have got a way of making birds feel like this haven't we? It's a gift.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    poetry can't really be judged by "good" or "bad", but if you wrote it to express your feelings and if you like it then i would definitely call it a "good" poem

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Miss x , sorry u r in love,be carful.

  • 1 decade ago

    it depressed th eliving ship out of me

  • 1 decade ago

    It expresses your feelings well.

  • 1 decade ago

    good work on finding words that rhyme..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes it is a good poem

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you go that's awesome

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.