how should I react to my gf wanting to get married?

Hi. so I am 22 and currently in school. my gf is same age as i am and she goes to school too. we do love each other but she wants to get married by the time she is 25 and I have atleast 5 more years of school left. I told her that I can not marry her before I am done with school, and she insist on getting married by the time she is 25. she said if I dont agree to her terms, we are still going to be together, but she wont have the same love for me and will try to "love me less". and ofcourse she wont cheat on me but, i will consider her options and break up with me before making any moves. what should i do? (I really cant afford marrying her before school is over... or atleast i dont want to promise something i am not sure of being able to deliver)

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Say 'We'll see then'

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow. Anyone who uses their "love" as a threat to get what they want is just pathetic. That is a really tough situation for you. I would highly suggest taking her threat to heart and really considering whether or not it's worth it. Do you want to be with someone for the rest of your life that is going to try to manipulate you like that? That's a really low blow. I mean, I want to marry my boyfriend too but we're being reasonable about it. Not until he graduates college. Plain and simple. Shouldn't those first few years of marriage be blissful and stress free? You can't have that unless you're financially stable! I hope you seriously consider dumping this girl. It shouldn't be her way or the highway, ya know? How are you supposed to make decisions if you do get married? Like buy a house? She wants something, you want something else, and instead of finding a compramise she's just going to tell you she won't love you anymore if you don't give her what she wants? (Oh wait, you won't be able to afford it because you're in school) Shameful! Ask her, Does she really love you or just the thought of getting married? Good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I started dating my current fiance when I was 22. I definitely wanted to settle down and start a family around 25, but I knew he wasn't ready. His mom had gone through 3 marriages and he knew that when he got married, he wanted that marriage to last a lifetime - and I appreciated that. I did tell him that if we continued to date and weren't married after 7 yrs, I would probably move on. (7 always seems like the magic number for longterm relationships coming to an end..) In any case, we dated for 4 yrs, then got engaged and now I am getting married at 27. Surprisingly, a lot of people have commented how young I am to be getting married, and I am the first of my close friends to get married. 22 is definitely young, and if you're not ready, you should let your gf know that for sure. But don't tell her that you "don't want to get married". Let her know that you plan on marring her, but its just going to have to wait til you're done with school and feel confident to settle down and start a family!!! I think she just wants a sense of security. Best of luck!!

    Source(s): personal experience
  • 1 decade ago

    When in doubt, don't get married. When you agree to marry someone, you should be 100% sure.

    You two are extremely young anyway. A lot can change and so do people. I believe you should stand firm on your decision. You don't want to give in to her and then end up divorced a few years later.

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  • 4REEE
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I think you're both too young to get married.

    Both of you should wait till you're at least 25.

    Finish your education. Go to a university or college. Join the workforce. Get a steady job. Build up a reasonable savings account. Travel the world. Do cool things.

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  • Pookie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    stand up for yourself and tell her that although you see that she has a plan and goals in mind to be married at a certain age, you however have plans and goals to complete school before marriage, if you both cant come to some sort of medium, would a marriage really last long?

    Marriage is all about compremise, and it sounds to me like she wears the pants in this relationship, I wouldnt wanna be with anyone who gave me such an ultimatum, your smart for wanting to finish school

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Good for you for standing up for yourself. No one should ever be pushed or forced or pressured into getting married...it's only going to end in divorce. I really think you need to get rid of this girl. It's only going to get worse...and think about how your life will be if you actually do marry her, especially if it is on her terms. She's going to control you for your entire life. It's not worth it. Dump her.

  • 1 decade ago

    Punch her in the eye.

    She's very manipulative.

    Love you less? Really?

    Dump her now, the sex isn't worth it.

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